Eating Disorders Support Group

Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.

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all over again

clarissa
clarissa

hey guys, it has been long time since i wrote an entry here. 


i'll like to say that i have suffered from anorexia and bulimia. it has been a battle to fight every day but i had move on, slowly but i have been trying to get out of that hell. what i want to say is that i don't know what's wrong with me again. i'm remembering lots of things i used to make when i was in my highest point of the disorder. i'm so afraid of gaining weight again, i'm throwing up unconsciously and i'm having thoughts of being much fatter. i thought i was going on the right path but i realize i'm completely wrong... 


LuckyEmpath
LuckyEmpath
I am sorry your ED has returned. Even if you have a setback it does not negate the progress you have made. I had a quote in my phone that I would look at often. It said "you can't have a setback unless there has been progress".

It sounds like you may have been triggered and certain emotions you were feeling probably sent you back into old patterns. Can you remember if anything triggering happened just before the ED returned?
clarissa
clarissa
no... in this moments i'm completely in blank i can't find out anything that can be causing me this feelings again
LuckyEmpath
LuckyEmpath
It is difficult sometimes to pinpoint the exact trigger that makes us go back into our old patters. Sometimes it's just a fleeting thought that can trigger us. Do you ever journal about your days? Like a diary of sorts - but this would be a journal of your interactions with people, your thoughts and feelings and maybe even what triggered you. I know when I was first starting out my healing process I was triggered so often and by so many things it was difficult to recognize actual triggers. But journaling does help. I also had to make an effort to become very conscious of what was happening at all time during the day. It was this level of consciousness that helped me identify triggers and work on healing them.

This is what worked for me. Hopefully others here will have some great suggestions for you to try too.
CeeCee4
CeeCee4
What helped you last time? Set backs are bound to happen. Journaling totally helps. I like to go back and read my thought because it helps me.process
LP0126
LP0126
Agreed that set backs are natural and expected.. lucky said something in another reply about how to have a setback means you had to have made progress moving fwd (Lucky worded it much better than me!). That really stuck w me. My psychiatrist always says ED recovery is measured in months and years. Helps me remember it is supposed to be a long healing if I want genuine recovery. Forgive yourself for being human, acknowledge that ED behaviors serve a valid purpose in our lives even if you can't pinpoint what happened, and make the next right step towards recovery. Hang in there!