Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
here's my latest poem. the monster in this sense is my eating disorder. i refer to it as a "she" and "her" because unrealistic images of beauty and perfection are mostly aimed at women. plus, when i write poems like this (where i'm "screaming at" or "declaring war" on my ED), i always imagine i'm fighting with a ruthless, controlling and abusive woman.
Why can't I be normal?
Why can't I eat?
Why can't I stop overeating?
What is this monster living in me?
Why is she here?
Screaming at me
"You're fat and ugly
All your friends are thin and gorgeous!
You must eat to deal with everything
No matter what the wound
And, by the way, you stupid girl
No one will ever see Jesus in YOU!
No one will ever believe in Him because of you!
You're the one still stuck in the chair
The abused one
The one with an illness no one understands
The monster screams at me
Every day
All the time
I never get a break
From the anxiety over food
The embarrassment with eating in public
The fear that somebody will find my hidden food
The fear that even on a good day
I go overboard or not have enough
And let the monster catch me once again
What happened to ME?
The ten year old who knew God loved her
The girl who thought she was pretty
The smart girl who had good grades
And dreams of Disney World
And sang all the time
WHERE AM I?
Where am I?
Lost in this monster that has destroyed my life
Who is she anyway?
What makes her think she can ruin me?
Just come into my life and make me all crazy?
As is she actually thinks she can steal the essance of what my Father wants me to be!
She may have won today
But she won't win anymore
This, you devil monster
THIS IS WAR!!!!!
Fallon Marie
Why can't I be normal?
Why can't I eat?
Why can't I stop overeating?
What is this monster living in me?
Why is she here?
Screaming at me
"You're fat and ugly
All your friends are thin and gorgeous!
You must eat to deal with everything
No matter what the wound
And, by the way, you stupid girl
No one will ever see Jesus in YOU!
No one will ever believe in Him because of you!
You're the one still stuck in the chair
The abused one
The one with an illness no one understands
The monster screams at me
Every day
All the time
I never get a break
From the anxiety over food
The embarrassment with eating in public
The fear that somebody will find my hidden food
The fear that even on a good day
I go overboard or not have enough
And let the monster catch me once again
What happened to ME?
The ten year old who knew God loved her
The girl who thought she was pretty
The smart girl who had good grades
And dreams of Disney World
And sang all the time
WHERE AM I?
Where am I?
Lost in this monster that has destroyed my life
Who is she anyway?
What makes her think she can ruin me?
Just come into my life and make me all crazy?
As is she actually thinks she can steal the essance of what my Father wants me to be!
She may have won today
But she won't win anymore
This, you devil monster
THIS IS WAR!!!!!
Fallon Marie
Willingtobefree
Um....wow...There is something powerful about declaring war on an eating disorder, isn't there? Thank you for sharing this.
deleted_user
Whoa... Intense... I'm speechless.
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