this is the poem i wrote after speaking with NEDA:

#74 The Light

I can see the light
It's starting to shine in
I think I'm on my way
To finding myself again

Too long I've been afraid
Of allowing myself to feel pain
So I stuffed it all with food
Untill it went away

For years, I buried everything
The abuse
The break-ups
The rejection and discrimination
Even the bad grades
It all needed a quick fix

And I didn't know
I didn't know my midnight kitchen trips were making me sick
I didn't know I was slipping into an abyss
That the rest of the world had ignored
That I was slowly and steadily losing control

But now I do
And I know my enemy's name
Binge Eating Disorder
It is the thing that's driving me insane

I know this now because I got brave
And called someone who cared
He listened to me and answered my questions
And seemed to understand everything

The shame that I feel each time that I allow myself to binge
The frustration I feel
Because well-meaning people keep bringing me sweets
Despite me telling them
For me, they are not treats
For me, they only hurt

But now that I have done this
I can finally see
A light at the end of this tunnel
Waiting for me

Jesus knows where I'm at
He has heard my cries
He knows that I have believed Satan's lies

And He is right there with me
Walking me through
Holding my hand and saying
I love you

I can see the light
It's starting to shine in
I think I'm on my way
To finding myself again
Fallon Marie

so from a technical standpoint, it doesn't flow well. it's a bit choppy in spots because i had to stop writing a few times. this one took a few hours to get out of my gut and on to paper. but that's my soul at the moment.-fallon