You are a grown woman, tell her up front...I've been in that situation..My mother would say things that hurt and I finally saw that she was treated like that from her mother. She may not know she's doing it. My mother didn't, she was shocked when she found out she was hurting me so much, you can't expect people to change if you don't tell them what you need from them.

jess is right. and dont hide your feelings from your mom. i have been in the same situation and im still am

I would absolutely keep on telling her that it hurts! Eventually and hopefully she'll get the hint!

If you don't feel comfortable face to face maybe a letter?

You know, people can be cruel and insensitive for sure, and we all are often misunderstood and also misunderstand others.
But your questions is a good one.

What to do.
The first i would suggest is to know in your heart that you are much more then anothers opinion. You are worthy and Lovable and special and you can overcome this thing.
It took me a long to reach a "bottom" with food, where I admitted that i needed to put this a #1 priority.
I have shared before that I went to my first OA Meeting several years ago, and took it serious for a little bit, but really didnt give it a chance.
After finally admitting that I was done, and So sick of being sick and tired of my up and down pain spiral with food, I went back to OA and did what successful people in OA do, and it is working.

The benefit has been less and less concern for what other say and there opinions, but feeling good on the inside as I take one day at time.
I got a sponsor, a lady who is 7 years free from compulsive eating, and I go to about 3 meetings a week, and I pray every day for grace to follow my food plan. It works.
And You know what the best thing is?

When we start feeling good on the inside , people around us, including family, have less and less ability to take our Joy and Hope.
What ever you choose, You are worth it! You are worth giving your self a break and Starting this New Year in Hope and recovery,
People will be insensitive, even loved ones but look to feeling good about a new life and go forward, this is what we can control.

Happy NEw Year and blessings to you.

I would also suggest seeing a therapist to talk out your issues...a impartial third party is good to talk to. You don't feel judged and it's a safe place to get it all out.

thank you all for helping me out

You need to sit her down and tell her straight out that what she is saying is really hurting you. I went through the same thing with my mother, and after I told her how I felt she stopped for the most part. You could also try going to a family therapist, it might help as well.

Best of luck. :)

Maybe tell her that if she doesn't stop bashing you, you will have to make the decision to not see her anymore. That might be harsh but whatever is best for you right now. I don't have contact with my parents anymore and it is a big burden of my shoulders.

a letter might be good to get what you want to say in your head even if you don't send it. it might give you the confidence to talk to her