Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
I suffered from Anorexia but I've been at a recovered weight for a long time now. Nearly a year. But this hasn't come without relapses as far as behaviours go.
Now I'm falling back into the same cycles I have in the past. I really want to move out of my Mum's soon but I know that I will relapse. I've already got it in my head. One side of me is scared to move out. The other is saying "GO! DO IT! Then you can be alone to endulge in your ED". I have mixed feelings. Sometimes I can control the thoughts. But other times I just can't and I actually want to be left alone to carry on.
I'm so hung up on losing weight. I feel the pull daily to lose more and more. Previously I became obsessed with losing weight. It was a numbers game. Everyday had to have fewer calories and lower numbers on the scales. I'm slipping into that obsession once more. But again, I'm reluctant to fight it this time.
I don't know where things have gone wrong. Well.... actually, yes I probably do. My life at the moment is all over the place and it's really stressing me out.
- I want to move out because my Mum drinks and her partner is on heroin and crack. They are argue a lot and I get scared (issues with past)
- I can't work at the moment because my depression just wont allow it
- My boyfriend has moved into his grandparents somewhere far from where I live to do 6 weeks of work experience so I can only see him at weekends.
- I'm waiting on the results of my benefits to come through so I'll know what my money situation is. It's taking weeks!
- My therapist has stopped seeing me. Says I've had my full quota of therapy.
- And now my care worker has left me. She's moved due to changes in the system at my clinic/hospital and I've been put with someone new. I was supposed to have an appointment the other day but I just didn't go. I HATE seeing new people. I really liked my care worker, she was really nice and got things done. I hate having to go through my whole history of my mental health issues (there's a lot!) with new people because they can't be assed to actually read my notes. It's always the same.
So yeah... I guess I can see where my struggles are coming from. Doesn't make it any easier to challenge them at the moment though :(
Now I'm falling back into the same cycles I have in the past. I really want to move out of my Mum's soon but I know that I will relapse. I've already got it in my head. One side of me is scared to move out. The other is saying "GO! DO IT! Then you can be alone to endulge in your ED". I have mixed feelings. Sometimes I can control the thoughts. But other times I just can't and I actually want to be left alone to carry on.
I'm so hung up on losing weight. I feel the pull daily to lose more and more. Previously I became obsessed with losing weight. It was a numbers game. Everyday had to have fewer calories and lower numbers on the scales. I'm slipping into that obsession once more. But again, I'm reluctant to fight it this time.
I don't know where things have gone wrong. Well.... actually, yes I probably do. My life at the moment is all over the place and it's really stressing me out.
- I want to move out because my Mum drinks and her partner is on heroin and crack. They are argue a lot and I get scared (issues with past)
- I can't work at the moment because my depression just wont allow it
- My boyfriend has moved into his grandparents somewhere far from where I live to do 6 weeks of work experience so I can only see him at weekends.
- I'm waiting on the results of my benefits to come through so I'll know what my money situation is. It's taking weeks!
- My therapist has stopped seeing me. Says I've had my full quota of therapy.
- And now my care worker has left me. She's moved due to changes in the system at my clinic/hospital and I've been put with someone new. I was supposed to have an appointment the other day but I just didn't go. I HATE seeing new people. I really liked my care worker, she was really nice and got things done. I hate having to go through my whole history of my mental health issues (there's a lot!) with new people because they can't be assed to actually read my notes. It's always the same.
So yeah... I guess I can see where my struggles are coming from. Doesn't make it any easier to challenge them at the moment though :(
deleted_user
Wow... that is a hefty load no doubt. I know what you mean about the thoughts and everything. I'm four months into being recovered, and thoughts like that still hit me. I hope you can find what you need to within you to pull away from this.
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