Eating Disorders Support Group

Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.

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xBlissx 05/21/2010

I'm out of hospital now (General) and been put on loads of medication which in turn has made me put on LOADS of weight. At first I was so depressed that I just didn't care, but now i've been discharged and I'm left to cope with the damage that's been done. I HATE it so much and I just want to go back to restricting like crazy. Being on so much medication means that unless I eat quite a lot, I feel sick. So this is Day 1 of my disgusting body's crash diet. I can't take it. I'm not taking my meds i'll just have to resort to hiding them so that I can get away with eating as little as possible. I fucking hate this life of restriction/weights/calories/exercise but I don't feel it's my choice. My head is totally running away with itself this time and is determined to cheat, lie and use every trick in the book to lose this weight.

I don't think there's anything anyone can say that is going to help me not do this. But the tiny well side of me that's left knows what i'm about to do is bad so I guess I'm just reaching out to you guys. Please don't be angry with me for going back to anorexia but how many therapists have said "well put on the weight and if your still unhappy you know how to lose it again"... I've tried it...I'm at a 'healthy' weight... I HATE it... my choice....no....anorexia's choice.

x-Bliss-x

deleted_user 05/21/2010

Is it possible for you to as the prescribing doctor about changing the medication to something similar? Especially the ones that cause weight gain and sickness? I know most of the times medications have several similar drugs that they could be switched to. Does the doctor know you have an eating disorder? IF he or she doesn't maybe telling them about it, and how the medication affects it could help. Feel better soon...

xBlissx 05/21/2010

Yes they knew about my eating disorder, and no something similar isn't an option because this combination worked for my depression.

deleted_user 05/21/2010

I've know you for quite some time and you have been close to death ever since and honestly when I saw you post I was surprised that you are still alive.
If changing your meds is not an option you need to accept it along with the side effects. That's the only thing to do. You can't afford to hide your meds and starve. I don't want to sound harsh but I don't see another way. Be honest with your treatment team and yourself.

deleted_user 05/21/2010

I know right now that gaining the weight from the meds seems absolutely horrible, but in order to get out of this cycle, it's necassary to take your pills daily. I made the same mistake a while back, I hated that I'd gained weight on lexapro and I stopped taking it so I could continue ED. The withdrawls were terrible, and I felt like I was going crazy. The consequences of what you're thinking of doing is just not worth it.

Though it may not seem like it, you always have a choice. I really hope you see this before you go down the wrong path.

Take care.

deleted_user 05/22/2010

I don't really know what to say as I don't know the extent of you being in the hospital. However, it is NEVER wise to just take yourself off of meds. And who wants to go on this crash diet? You or ED? These are all things that NEED to be discussed w/ your doctors and treatment team, there is no wiggle room to just crash diet. Again, don't know what to say, other than get back to your doctor's office and come up w/ a plan that will WORK!

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