Are you personally /emotionally attached to the house? Can you afford to keep it and still have enough income/assets for a decent standard of living? If yes to both of those, can you afford to pay for the help you will need for repairs, lawn care, snow removal?
Or, on the other hand, would you enjoy making a new home for you and your sons? If you don't want the hassle of all that maintenance on your house, maybe consider a townhouse, one that allows pets, is well maintained, has a good homeowners association and is occupied primarily by owners not renters, so that you can be sure the overall property is well maintained . Now that I'm living alone in a house that I really love, it does nevertheless sometimes cross my mind that if I can't get my husband to return, maybe I'll look into the townhouse idea myself

Before you make any big decision about the HOUSE it's important that you have a firm handle on what your financial picture is going to be when the divorce is final. Too many people hang onto the marital home without thinking it through. It IS a lot of work and expense and you may find that your time and energy is better spent doing other things.

I got this farm in my divorce and while there was no mortgage, the constant upkeep has become burdensome. I don't regret keeping it, but I am more than ready to sell now -- 5 years post final divorce. If I had to do it over again, I probably would have sold it back in 2009, but I can't go back now.

I think you should speak to a good financial advisor about this possibility and consider all your options before making any final decisions.

For me I have to have somewhere to live. so i looked at the cost of rent verses house payment and what you get for your money. Also pet fees and no fenced yard etcSo for me house payment would be cheaper then what it cost for rent for plus conviences of like i said fenced yard, space garage and privacy. Snow shoveling yard work and gardening is my therapy and i like my privacy and no one telling em what i can do or cant do. It is a personal choice along financially. what you can afford and what you can live wiht and without Yes you have maintanace on house but rent goes up for those things too in renting and you have no equity in renting. I wish you good luck with your choices. Do what will make you happy mind, body,soul and finanacially Love&Peace

For me, I bought him out of the house and I have never regretted it. You have to weigh out your own situation, as so many factors go into it. You said he doesn't want it, but you have to remember that it is an asset, and not wanting it and not wanting his share of it are two different things. You may have to buy him out, and if either of you do not want it, it has to go up for sale. Houses are still not selling yet in many areas, and of course you have to know what you owe, and what it is worth.

One of the harder things in divorce is if you do not know what your income is going to be or look like, it is hard to get a financial picture of what you can afford. There are many " calulators" and worksheets on the internet to figure out what I call a financial plan.. or a budget. I would advise you to sit down and figure out as close as you can what you think your expenses are for you and the house. I also believe you have to know what your house is going to need in repairs and maintance. Furnaces, water heaters, etc etc. I knew I could afford to live here, and it was tight in the beginning. I am also handy and am a contractors daughter, I can either figure it out or find someone and know what to pay or how to do it. This is was our 2nd house, and we not only redid the first house, I sold it and we worked on this one. I have bought furnaces, water heaters, dishwashers, roofs. etc etc. a number of times. I had to get a new water heater about 9 months after I divorced.. and I had just started to recover financially!

For me, not having a payment in the near future, the privacy and the like angel said, It is mine. I have had fun working on things we did not get done.... I ripped out 53 yards of carpeting and pad on my own and it was great to walk in and pick carpet without any input from anyone. Like angel, I like the privacy, the wooded lot, and I am very safe here. I left the city 20 years ago and my urban renewal days are over! I also believe for me it is still a good investment, and with it paid off very soon, that will free up more cash for me to redo a few things. I could not rent for what I pay now. I can snowblow, and although the yard work is a bit much with working, I could hire someone. That is another factor, if you go back to work or are working, you do have less time to do all you need housewise. I have no kids, and have to be independent and not rely on anyone but me.. I do have a good guy friend, he got that tree off the roof and has helped me. My BF, he is not handy and has never owned a house. He once hauled the softener salt to the basement and called out what does it look like and where do I put it!

This is a big decision, talk to your lawyer to get a picture of what your divorce looks like money wise. I am not big on spending money on what you can do yourself and every woman in divorce should know their financial picture before you negotiate a settlement or divorce. Like all said, look at your options. A woman I helped did one of the first things I told her to do.. she went and looked at what she could rent, and found out that like most of us who have had house long term, it costs a lot more than we realized. One place she really liked.. and then I pointed out that where was she going to park her car.. she had no clue that some rentals do not have a garage! Hang in there.. and Hug!

Angelundercover and MsTerey have good points. I suppose mine is different because this is MORE than just a house...and while it's smaller than Trisha9054's spread, it's still a lot more upkeep and maintenance than I want to deal with anymore -- regardless of all my handywoman skills, equipment and experience.

When people are aghast at my decision to sell this little piece of paradise, I explain it to them like this: "I've had 24 years of this kind of fun and I'm ready for something different!

You've all made some very good points. It is so hard to know the best thing to do. Part of me would like to keep it, but another part of me wants to move on with someplace new to call home that doesn't have the "ghost of husband past" walking about. Also, I'm afraid if I take the equity from the house as part of my asset settlement, I will be getting the short end of the stick. We live in a rural depressed area where property values have not increased and have decreased over the past few years. Also, I want the ex to be half responsible for the fixing, cleaning and revamping that the house is going to need before it goes on the market. Also, I'm afraid the "equity" value that I have now will not be close to that in a few years. I don't plan to stay here indefinitely, and I'm thinking that during the divorce may be a wiser time to sell than after the fact when I'm left getting screwed with a house that won't sell or needs lots of $ to make it sellable. Also, I'm dreading next winter when my younger son will be gone and away at college. I feel quite isolated here, and I think a move may be better for me financially, emotionally and mentally.

I kept my house as well. It's a log home on 2 1/2 acres so it does require quite a bit of maintenance especially since I have two horses. I wouldn't be able to rent anything cheaper plus then I would have to either board or get rid of the horses. Boarding is expensive. Houses also are not selling that quickly and the prices haven't recovered so that route didn't appeal either.

I don't make a ton of money as a non-profit arts administrator but I've been able to manage so far. Plus, I didn't have much of a mortgage left so my sister and BIL helped pay if off. That has helped immensely. Family and friends have helped with some repairs and the ex has actually returned to work on some of the unfinished projects.

I thought about it long and hard before making a final decision and created a spreadsheet to keep track of my expenses which I still maintain. Best of luck with your decision.

it sounds to me you have thought this through.its not an easy decision... all have given good reasons for why they kept the house ( horses, loved the house, familiarity, ) you have stated your son will be off to college, you dont have horses and you stated you dont want to stay indefinitely and have the burden of selling the house on your own with repairs and such. ., definitely weigh them in your decision.. I am not sure how much care your son needs, how much you relied on your older son to help with the maintenance, and how much the "ghost of husband past" visits..how much YOU can actually physically want or can do.. only you know the area, the amount of equity, and if you could find reasonable help if needed.. You are wise to think about the financial, emotional and mental aspects..Not everyone finds things they used to do as therapeutic ( garden..painting, upkeep) ,not everyone needs or has a garage. Good luck with whatever decision you make.. It will be a change either way..

It was a hard decision for me because I designed our dream home and was hands-on from drawing the initial plans to choosing every detail and being present at every hitch in the building process. Same with the gardens.

The house and gardens were far too big for me to take on single-handedly. However, when it all boiled down, there were too many bad memories in that house for me to be able to stay. The clean slate was the way to go for me, and it's worked a treat.

I'm not going to stay where i'm at, it was supposed to be temporary in the first place while i waited for my someday to be ex to move here and we were going to build a new home again on this property. Where i'm at is way to much work on my own.

I am very ready to simplify my life, i'm tired of trying to keep up this place and all that goes with it.

I am going to keep all my animals,they are my family but id like 3 or 4 flat acres as opposed to the hilly acres i have now, with a barn small enough for just my horse and donkey, one that is easy to keep up with.

I have REALTOR.com send me daily updates as to what comes onto the market. I spend a lot of time dreaming about my new place . It will be either a small house or small manufactured home. And it will be the first thing Ive ever owned on my own with nothing of the stbx stuff to remind me of the life i was supposed to have at one time.

Kamary, I get you, we built this house too, I love it but can't and don't want to care for it anymore. My sons want it, I just want a new life, but to them this is home. So torn, I sleep in the same room and bed as him. I want a new look and feel, but like I said my Sons want this place.

Kamary, I get you, we built this house too, I love it but can't and don't want to care for it anymore. My sons want it, I just want a new life, but to them this is home. So torn, I sleep in the same room and bed as him. I want a new look and feel, but like I said my Sons want this place.

Kamary, I get you, we built this house too, I love it but can't and don't want to care for it anymore. My sons want it, I just want a new life, but to them this is home. So torn, I sleep in the same room and bed as him. I want a new look and feel, but like I said my Sons want this place.

Kamary, I get you, we built this house too, I love it but can't and don't want to care for it anymore. My sons want it, I just want a new life, but to them this is home. So torn, I sleep in the same room and bed as him. I want a new look and feel, but like I said my Sons want this place.

Kamary, I get you, we built this house too, I love it but can't and don't want to care for it anymore. My sons want it, I just want a new life, but to them this is home. So torn, I sleep in the same room and bed as him. I want a new look and feel, but like I said my Sons want this place.