Thanks again everyone who has posted info and hugs for me. Will be contacting lawyer tomorrow and getting joint bank account closed.

Having a real bad day today. I feel lonely without my wife with no chance at getting back together after 23 years. I just don't understand. Really depressed here.

Hang on tight- it is a difficult transition. In the long run you will have peace but right now with just starting process it will be hard on you. Expect some turmoil and make sure you take care of yourself and get counselling or talk to friends. Keep posting!
Hugs and have a better night.

Thanks roadtosaint... My kids are here for me when I need help thank God, just feeling real empty inside. Feels like I've wasted 23yrs of my life on somebody I thought loved me and that was suppose to be with me forever for better or worse. I imagined us growing old together enjoying our kids and grandchildren. I'm so sad.....

(((Gocubbies23)))

Cubbies - hope you are doing better. I'm in a similar situation, my wife has left me for the OM after 20 years. To top it off, her affairs stretch back the whole length of our marriage - at least 8. Despite it I too have the same empty feeling in my empty house. My kids (12 and 19) are helping out for sure, but that does not take away the loneliness. Adjusting to being alone after 20 years is so hard. But realize that you will be okay - for your kids and for yourself, that this pain is temporary. I know it's hard, I can't even sleep in our bed, I just sleep on the couch and cry every night. Sometimes it does feel like a life wasted - but there were good times and you have your wonderful children. It's hard not to reflect on the past - moving forward is painful, you just want things to be like they were before (when in fact, things before were actually broken). This is your chance. Look the fear in the face, don't run from it. Give it a big hug, and love it. Smother it with love and you'll see, despite everything you feel, that you can and will be whole again. Without or without that special someone.

Please take care - feel free to friend or PM me anytime. I struggle with the same feelings daily.

(dburney) and (gocubbies) - you guys will make it. Love yourselves first.

Guys, I just got a new book the other day called "Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Rebuilding A New Life" by Abigail Trafford. While I am in the early chapters, it is probably one of the BEST books I have read on the subject because it begins by talking about HOW the breakdown began...and it's gender neutral. A healthy relationship is based on mutual respect and like it or not, if we take the time to really LOOK at what our now-defunct marriages were, somewhere along the line, there was a lack of respect. Very enlightening.

I know as well as anyone here that the initial stages are awful -- I was a complete and total basketcase for the first couple of months (and I was the one who put the now X OUT of this house!) The journey to acceptance was the most difficult part, but with the help of my most excellent therapist and a lot of hard work on my own, I got there. Now, more than 5 years post final divorce, I can honestly say that this New Life is 1,000 times BETTER than that old one was -- even on its best day.

Yours will be, too, but you have to be gentle with yourself and do everything in your power to get the support you need. Counseling is almost a must -- find a qualified counselor or licensed therapist to help you deal with the emotional fallout. A good attorney will protect you financially. Those two will become your Dream Team. The folks here will be your cheering section, but we are no substitute for in-person, professional help.

Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. It's a tough journey, but you can and will make it through! Sending all kinds of big squeezy hugs to you this day. xoxox