Yes, Trisha is right, the wording is very important which is why you should get an example from the plan administrator.

I may of not said what I meant to say. Google sample to see what one looks like to get a better understanding, but if you are going to try and do your own, get a copy from the plan administrator so you get the wording right. I did have mine rejected just once and it was by my EXH's lawyer and it was a minor change. The plan administrator had already accepted it.

Oh and when it was accepted, they notified me in writing that it was accepted. Hope that helps.

As a lawyer who has worked with employment benefit issues for 35 years in family law cases, I want to join the chorus. You need a QDRO to transfer the assets into your own retirement account or get one-half of your spouse's account tax-free. I do not agree that the employer is the best source for a QDRO because they usually have a draft that favors the employee. It's a starting point, but it needs to be checked carefully. As one example, in a case about five years ago, the employer "fixed" the non-employee's interest at a particular amount at separation. She would have had no share in any interest or appreciation on her share of the retirement plan. There are attorneys who specialize in drafting QDRO's, including many who are not high-priced. Do yourself a favor and contact one - they probably will know your spouse's retirement plans

You need a QDRO, mine was drafted by a second lawyer, it cost me about $500 but it was worth every dollar!! I seem to remember that your stbx was in the military as well, don't forget about any benefits or pension payments he receives, you might need a QDRO for those as well.
Don't listen to him the stbx only has his best interest in mind.
My EX is figuring out that I hit him hard in the money department and I know he would have screwed me over if I didn't have the QDRO. Please make sure that you get a good lawyer to draft it, there are many out there who specialize in it.

Moscato, your X is an ass. Evidently, he still doesn't want anyone else to know more than he does! IGNORE HIM! Whoever handles your various mutual fund accounts can best advise you as to how to value them and how to get funds moved from one account to another. When my divorce was final, it was my investment advisor at Smith-Barney who was most helpful in that regard.

Thank you lycesq and Marion565 for validating what I said in my post. Your best and safest bet in this situation is to find an attorney who SPECIALIZES in this QDRO stuff. Most of the time, the fee is nominal and is split between the parties. In my case, I ended up not having to pay half, but there were special circumstances for that. Even so, $250 would have been money well spent to secure the $300,000 in funds that were coming into MY accounts.

Yes, you must do it - do no listen to your STBX.

Thank you for all your replies. I suppose we already have a QDRO because that is how we are dividing his military pension. That's taken care of. I guess I am not sure of the procedure to utilize it to divide the other assets. I am meeting with a financial advisor on Friday, and hopefully she will help.

I am glad you are getting some help!... and do not be overwhelmed by all of us.

If you have a QDRO for the pension, good chance that that early on the lawyers agreed on a consulting firm or other party to value it and help divide when the time comes.. Here, the judge approves at the one of the early status hearings who does it. When you are in the throes of divorce, easy to not remember that happening.. and remember, hindsight is twenty twenty. It is a lot easier to give advice after the divorce! The very best to you! You will get through this...