Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
Because of his porn addiction, the last 15 years of our marriage revolved around the penis. Can it get up? Can it stay up? I had been rejected by him so many times physically, that I think I just resigned myself to the fact that I was undesireable. When we sought counselling after the affair, he finally opened up about the addiction (only because I caught him at it). I had no idea how serious it was. Many experts say it's worse than crack or heroin. Our counsellor said it is epidemic. He really worked on it for several months through online programs and a support group for addicts. Sadly, there really aren't too many programs in our area that deal with it. I put parental controls on all the computers, but then he just turned to looking at celebrities and any other sites he could find. I actually came to hate Beyonce because I always felt I was competing with her. I put up with it for so long that my counselor says I'm an enabler. It's an insidious thing and you don't really see it happening to you.
That is one thing I am grateful for - that I'm not walking around feeling unattractive and wondering what he's looking at on his computer. For that, I really do like him better in his own house.
Sorry if this topic is inappropriate.
That is one thing I am grateful for - that I'm not walking around feeling unattractive and wondering what he's looking at on his computer. For that, I really do like him better in his own house.
Sorry if this topic is inappropriate.
-
-
I had gone to the grocery store. When I wheeled my cartback to my car I just stool there a minute. A few spacesaway a Tesla Cyber truck was parked. I had seen it on theroad a few times for a few seconds. But not close up.It looked like it belonged to 2126 and not 2026. I wasgoing to take a picture of the car but the owners cameback and drove away. It was an ordinary middle age...
Sex and Porn Addiction
Porn and sex addiction for women and men is a growing problem due to the Internet. Those with porn and sex addiction tend to be people who are obsessive compulsive, have manic depression or have a narcissistic personality.
The development of sexual addiction for many starts early in life. Early exposure to porn, witnessing a parent behave in a highly promiscuous or inappropriate manner or early discovery of self-stimulation are factors in sex addiction.
Female Porn Addiction: One in Three Visitors to Adult Websites are Women
Well this explains some of the ex's problems. His father was a serial cheater, married one of "him agains" school mates if not an ex girlfriend of the ex. His sister wasn't sure which one their father married but he was way too old for that girl. I'm sure he was exposed to porn. Not that this is an excuse for "him again's" behavior.
In any case, if a spouse insist in acting out in bad behavior, REFUSES to drop his extracurricular activities, and prefers the freedom to access their dirty options over the gift of marriage , is where you have to PREPARE FOR THE WORST. Bottom line, is you have no control over the spouse or their sad outcome.
What more can you do? The answer is, give him what he wants, his freedom. He's pretty much useless at this point sucking the life out of people. Once he's out on the curb, I like the approach of the"180" dynamics with the "no contact". It takes you out of the game as a player. It's a choice.