Jenny and John,
Thanks so much. You are right about everything but as you know it is so very difficult to face that we have been rejected. And Jenny -- you are dead on - he obviously followed his own will which I am sure was brewing for a long time but failed to let me in on his little secret. And refurb you are right - I did honor those vows and never did anything dishonorable. I was loyal and loving in my marriage but he didn't appreciate that. He chose to focus on the negative rather than positive aspects of our marriage. But I do need to work on my own self-worth. His actions should not define me as a person but I am having trouble realizing that. I spent most of my life looking for his approval and putting him on a pedestal.

Thanks for saying that I give life meaning beyond myself. I do try because I know that is what is really important - leaving a legacy of love and caring and making someone's day a little better.

Hugs to all,
Donna

"But I do need to work on my own self-worth"

only your perception of such,
when we marry a self centered spider they are very good a spinning us into thinking our worth is defined by our usefulness to them, we tend to buy in as we love and love is trust

right now, your asshole ex, even though he does not have use for you, if he had to name the few people he would trust to do the right thing, the best thing even if it was not their "want", he would name you

Worth :-)

Awesome point Refurb couldn't of said it better myself !!! That's your worth not stupid papers !!!

After writing you and I was in the shower the thought hit me. Here are the papers you should concern yourself with.

When the bible says God WILL role out the book on our life. That's kinda the one that only matters. Its eternal this is stupid 80 year stuff if were lucky. Look for that day honey !

What a true statement that was!!! Refurb - you are right - even if he says the awful things he did about me ruining his self-esteem, emasculated him, etc. he would have to say that I would do the right thing. He knows I can be trusted and is loyal to the death. He can't take away the fact that I was a loyal wife who stood by him no matter what and a devoted loving mother to our 3 kids. As a matter of fact, I spoke to all of my 3 kids who live near and far. They happened to call me to chat tonight and had no idea that this occurred. I won't tell them because it has nothing to do with them and I don't want to hurt them with this. I want to stay positive with them so they don't dread talking to me. It was so wonderful knowing that all 3 called me and did just to talk to me about nothing in particular. It is something that I am beginning to realize is so important and I appreciate that I have children who are close to me emotionally. It is what I always wanted but I don't push myself on them with my problems and now they look to talk to and be with me.

The "2 year ago me" would have whined and cried about how unfair my life is and drive my kids away with that attitude. Now I am trying to be "up" around them and go to my friends and all of you for support.

I guess that's working for me now. I am in touch with them all the time.
So sleepy so good night to all,
Donna

You have wonderful kids, Donna. They know you are the best mum, and most probably also think you were a good wife, too. They know your worth.

Look at what you have, don't look back at what is gone.

love and hugs
kamary

When I got mine, I was sitting down watching TV. My daughter got the mail, I opened it and I just sat there, wow, it is finally over. I do not even know where I put it. I do not care. Sometimes, I feel that wow what happened, at times, I am so happy that he is out of my hair and is his mother's problem again. You will be fine, my dear. Living happy and successful is our best revenge. Smile.

Dear Donna, as everyone said, you are an amazing, giving, caring woman. I agree, those papers represent his lack...Lack of morals, lack of values, and even the lack of worth of his word. Sad isn't it. You are worth far more than that. I know this hurts. Today & every day is another day. This day is the same as any day since July 17th when he signed. Please take care of yourself. Try not to look back and certainly don't let his actions imply in anyway that it is a reflection on you. It's all on him. Dream big wonderful dreams for yourself, and go achieve them.
Just when the butterfly thought the world ended, it became a butterfly.
Hugs!!!

Stand Fast girlfriend. You've got this!