Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group

I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...

507 Members
7,364 Posts
0 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Divorce after Twenty years together Support Group

My 25th anniversary

LisaMariB
LisaMariB
We'll today would have been our 25th wedding anniversary. It's been 3 years and I've come a long way, but just makes me all nauseous inside thinking about what it meant to me. He's on a plane traveling to be with OW and her family (no kids never been married) and friends. She was visiting him last weekend for our close friends (in our wedding together) had a graduation party for their son. All our dual friends there and he's with her now. I have a new life yes, but today is just a huge reminder of the dream. Usually I text him a small reminder but this year I'm not going to do it. I know he could care less and at best has completely erased it from his mind. Just hurts.
Atpeacemary
Atpeacemary
Honey, I know it hurts, there is not much we can do but live our lives the way we want to from now on. Hugs
Misred
Misred
(((HUGS))) Sorry hun
CowgirlKathi
CowgirlKathi
LisaMarie
I'm sorry you are having a bad time of it. My divorce was final just weeks before what would have been our 25th anniversary and I was very disappointed. We had begun talking about plans to have a big get together just two years earlier - and then wham! He dropped the bomb on me.

But you know what? God has something better in mind for you. You must keep your faith in yourself and your abilities AND your faith in a Higher Power. Each new day is a Gift. Learn to enjoy it and not look backward. Something Wonderful WILL Happen for You! Big hugs. xoxo
Moscato
Moscato
I know how you feel. We all do. My ex reconnected with an old flame and left our marriage shortly after our 25th wedding anniversary. The anniversary trip that he had promised me never came to be...a divorce instead! Just recently, what would have been our 30th anniversary passed. It certainly brought up feelings of sadness, but I tried not to dwell on it. I made plans to have a nice dinner with a good friend that evening. Fortunately, anniversaries are only one day and pass quickly. Hopefully, better and happier days are ahead for you!
PsiChi
PsiChi
I'm sorry....I completely undersand how you feel. My 25th is this fall also. I've been thinking of it alot lately so i know what you mean about it being hurtful. No, they do erase it because it isn' t important to them. But that doesn't mean it cannot be an important milestone for you. My friends and i have already discussed having a "Just Me" party. To celebrate the fact that I made it 25 years in my own vows. I didn't cheat, walk out or give up. I'm still deciding if I want to do that or not, but I felt very loved by the thought of it. :)
iammine
iammine
LisaMari, I'm sorry for your pain honey. 25 is a tough one for sure for the one who was left/hurt. But try not to see it that way anymore. He has moved on, but SO HAVE YOU! You've healed and worked on yourself, and I bet you've got lots of great people in your life and you've developed relationships that never would've happened if you'd still been married!

I've found each anniversary to be a little easier, and in fact I actually find that the date he finally admitted that he had someone else is a much harder day for me to mark each year. His birthday ? I could'nt care less!

Anyway, CGK is right - keep the faith in yourself! YOU will prevail and flourish in your own life.
KRKing911
KRKing911
(((Hugs))) you will be ok. one day and it's over :)
refurb
refurb
Sorriest for him, he still doesn't understand who you are,
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • MelT2020

    Things to do

    Posted by: MelT2020
    Last Reply: billwfriend
    5
    I've been struggling lately on what to do with my life since I no longer have a caregiver role. I decided to write a list of hobbies and things I like to do as a reminder to myself. I encourage you to create your own list of likes/hobbies/or things you'd like to try. Here's a few of my things:Going to the beachTrying new restaurantsMaking lists/planning for the future Road...
  • MelT2020

    Remembering 9/11/2001

    Posted by: MelT2020
    Last Reply: SunCloudJD
    7
    People who were alive during 9/11/2001 have a story of how the attacks on the USA impacted their lives. Feel free to share.....I graduated from law school on Sat, Sep 15, 2001 at age 24.  Many families did not attend the graduation ceremony because the airplanes were grounded.  I was a law clerk for a certain government agency for two years while in law school and was looking forward to a great...