So sorry it is a rough day for you! It is very tough to remember happy times and not understand what happened. It just does not feel fair at all. I am not really sure someone who has hurt others so thoughtlessly could be really happy- it seems like there is no conscience but we cannot really know. My heart goes out to you.
Hugs and Blessings for a happier day!
Cheryl

I'm sorry Lisa, it is very hard when they just move on and "seem happy".
You know one day you will not be lonely, your young and beautiful, don't worry about him or the friends. You will make new friends and at some point be happier than you ever dreamed.
Try to find something to do tomorrow for Memorial day. Ive been lonely off and on myself , i'm thinking of going into town where there will be a Memorial day observance, i'm also going to grill chicken for my neighbors cook out.
Will you have your daughter with you? Maybe the two of you could have a cook out.

hugssss

I feel for you. I am experiencing the same "emptyheartedness". I cannot understand either. Mt husband seems happy in his new llife with the OW (she also comes with no baggage, just career). His relationship with both of our young adult children is strained at best. For someone who prided himself on being a family man, I wonder how he can be so happy without his family. I have no answers. I know it hurts to have your former mutual friends still be friends with him. All you can do is focus on yourself and your healing, so you can move on to a healthier future. I suspect, in the long run, you will be the one who is happier and more at peace, than him.

Like you "moscato" my ex was all about family. A stand up guy in the community and church and other organizations. He truly thinks he's done nothing wrong. He wasn't happy and left the marriage of course pointing fingers at me the whole time. He actualy believes it was the best decision of course not knowing all the consequences. The girlfriend didn't show up officially until 3 months after the final divorce. So he's done nothing wrong. Although he's been with her while we were seperated 9 months. And even then claims he's done nothing wrong. He just wanted out. I begged to much and too many words were said. He feels he is so much happier, probably even stating how emotionally abusive I was. How dare he! My marriage meant something. He's a stranger now... And even stranger and more seperated from his kids who are 19 and 20. If he truly knew the lack of respect they have for him he would be devested. But he is too much in his world to think he's done anything wrong.

Stop thinking about how happy he is, he may be, but he may not.. not your problem. YOU have to change that mindset, or you will not ever move on. God answered his prayers and the happiness he wanted.. that is passive victim talk. Do not do that to yourself. He is showing off his new life.. your wrote concentrate on your new life and you, less on him. You are over occupied what he is doing, and not focusing on what you could be doing, to have a better life. Of course he thinks he did nothing wrong.. but guess what, it doesn't matter, you are not going to figure it out if you have not by now.

You need to have less contact by not listening to or trying to get information about what he is doing. At one point after I was divorced, my good friend who knew I knew nothing about what my ex was doing, told me he was at a Memorial Day or 4th celebration at an ex friends. I held my hand out and STOP. I do not want to hear what he is doing.. I am happy and I hope he is also.. but I paid a lot of money to a lawyer, and a therapist to get to this spot and I don't want to know. IT doesn't matter! I did not want to divorce and when you reach the point that you figure out that you do not want to be married to someone who did not want to be married to you.. you move forward. I do know this.. you are thinking about someone who you are divorced from, giving him a lot of your real estate in your brain and life, and he is not thinking or caring about you and what you are doing. Do not mourn any longer someone who is not in your life . It doesn't matter why he is gone.. he is. HE wanted out. those are the key words. You can not change him, you can only change you and your reaction.. IT is hard, but do not let him hijack your life and he is not in it. Do something for yourself and live! You can do this, many of us have.. it has to be about you now, not him and the past. HUGS

The whole town here was shocked when my X moved 16 hours away and left everything and everyone. Everybody loved him, or who they thought he was
I am spending the day trying to weed the jungle that are my flower beds. He was supposed to do a fall clean up when he moved out and never did. I have my oldest trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with lawn mower so he can mow. My youngest is helping me weed.
I can't help but think HE is having a great day, living on the beach with OW and no responsibilities. UGH!!

Do not think I did not have my days.. once cleaning the gutters on a ladder, my lawyer called and said what are you doing? I said I am cleaning my gutters and on the cell to you and I am sick of this.. he said so what, they are now YOUR gutters, baby. He is the best.. and could put things in perspective. Think he is happy in that crummy apartment? WHO CARES he said. My lawyer had found out after 28 years his wife was cheating and taking money.. he divorced before me, which really worked out well for me.. he was months ahead of me in the process

. My yard is a jungle, I have 2 acres and it is way more work than I have time for.. hence my procrastinating on here. I used to ride around on the lawnmower and cry! I got over it, and am more capable than ever. Google is my friend, how to change that oil in the lawnmower? Utube! Ask a neighbor for help if you are having problems with a mower! Do I get tired of it some days, all the work...sure, but I can not change it. Take stock of what you have, not what you do not! Take pride in doing something that you did not think you could do and did. His loss all would say to me, and guess what it is.

Once you give up the resentment of what you perceive he is doing or not doing.. you will figure out that it is a waste of time and energy! He is not spending anytime thinking about what you are doing, do not let him do that to you by wasting that time on him! You'd be surprised.. not everyone loved him and who the heck cares if they did.. he was not who he said he was! Your job is get what you need from him no matter what he is doing, and that is financial support. Hang in there, holidays are hard, and so are weekends for some. HUGS

Narcissists are that way. They have to be the big man, charming everyone. Do you really think they are happy? Any happiness in their life is momentary. They NEVER get enough attention and adoration! It's never enough.

That being said, MsTerey is right. Stop spending your precious time and energy thinking about him. Wipe him out of your present life. Start creating your new life. That is what is important. He is not!

Oh and as for his new wife not being the OW. Pllllease! He's scum!