i take an air sickness bag, as sight of ms spider makes me quesy

I'm not sure what your faith practice may or may not be, but I did a lot of praying and focusing on several scriptures before court. It wasn't easy seeing him under those circumstances, but God gave me the strength and grace to see it through.

We didn't have to meet in court, but we did have to meet for settlement decisions and to sign the divorce papers while the ow waited outside the bank whose manager was our witness!! I think the main thing is to hold onto your own integrity and your self-respect. Go in there with the firm intention to take the high road and be your own best support. Show him what you're made of!

love and hugs
kamary

That was a dreadful day for me (March 9th " I think the 9th
not sure ! ". 2009. Maybe it was the 23rd. Lol. Boy , that's recovery when
you can't remember that day. HIP....HIP for me .
Back to question------- oh I feared that day. ...I took some
anxiety pills with me, just in case
But didn't need them....
It went so fast and the judge just went through all the legal
stuff .....I had no time to even think.NOW.....when I got home.....
I cried for a long time.
Now that I think back to that time in my life....I think I worried
more before that day......then when it aucailly happened.
It wasn't as hard as I thought.....
Once it's over..........your life will begin ..........again.
Timeman

My X moved to MS with his girlfriend, so I didn't see him from Mar 2012 until I kicked his butt in court in July 2013. I was so nervous.

I took xanax, and 2 dear friends. One was to testify, one was for emotional support. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.

You can do this. Good luck

I didn't have to see the ex until after the divorce. He was working overseas at that time. But I did have to see him in court when I had to file for contempt because he quit paying me. I was nervous about the outcome of the hearing but I just didn't look in his direction.

We were in court two more times and each hearing was much easier. I was lucky I had the same judge for most of the court appearances. Three for the divorce and three for contempt. If you feel nervous about seeing your ex just don't look in his direction. Don't take any meds you aren't familiar with. You would hate to take anything that was too strong or too weak.

The first court session is the hardest any after that one gets easier. You can do this and once done you will wonder why you thought it would be so horrible.

My lawyer had all meetings via tele-conference and for paperwork, fed-ex and fax. Didn't have to see ex which was great. I moved to FL a month after our separation and was fortunate to have a lawyer to figure out how I could do it all from afar. Its over and it was the best move of my life

After 11 long months of his foot-dragging, meaness, underhanded dealings, and flaunting his skank ho/now wife over a five county area, I was ready to get to court and kick his ass, and I did.

Go in there with confidence!

I was so afraid the day I had to face my ex in court. He refused to come anywhere near where I was sitting, even to talk to his own lawyer. So, I decided to ignore him and talk to my attorney and his and pretend he wasn't even there. I never even made eye contact with him the entire time. I smiled and carried myself as if everything was okay, but never looked at him once. It worked for me. But, I have to admit that I was so very glad when it was over.

By the time we made it to divorce court, it had been 18 Months of Hell and I was MORE than ready to put an end to his nonsense! I had no problem whatsoever staring him down when I was giving testimony and especially when he was. He was absolutely PATHETIC (trying to hide behind the 5th Amendment which doesn't hold water against a charge of Adultery) and I was almost embarrassed to have ever been married to such a worm!

Have no fear, my dear. Your attorney should be able to prepare you for what will transpire. If this is just a hearing, chances are, you won't have to address your stbx or the judge directly; that's what your attorney is for. If you do, just take a deep breath and speak slowly and distinctly when asked questions. Keep your eyes on the person who is asking the questions -- no one else!

You'll be fine. Try to get a good night's sleep the night before (and a little Xanax never hurts-- but not too much!) xoxo

P.S.
Since the now-X's name was Jack, "the Jackass" was my nickname for him and later on "the Assclown."

Wow! Wonderful to know that no matter you all felt, you handled it like pros! Thanks for the ideas and suggestions! I will have my game face ready and not look in his direction. Hopefully it will be swift! Hugs to all of you!

I was shaking like a leaf, but I refused to bow my head. I was dressed as if I was going for an interview. When I saw him, I smiled and slowly turned away to talk to my lawyer. I had a smile that just lit up the room. I was staring at him whenever I could. He was squirming like the worm that he is. Heads up and smile. He is the one that should be ashamed and feeling guilty. Hugs

well, I really think he was more nervous than me. I went in with head high and back straight and refused to let him think any part of it bothered me. But then again, by the time it came around I was passed the caring part. I saw the shaking and the nervousness, the sweating and the stuttering. Funny, none of it was on my part!

And do I have a new nickname for my narcissistic, self-centered, uncaring, incapable-of-loving-anyone-but=himself ex? sure do---he is now just exass!!

I will second the recommendations for a little xanax, and if you are practicing no contact stick to it in the courthouse as well. My lawyer kept us separated before we went before the judge and as we were actually in courtroom. It helped.