Enjoyed reading. Interesting point of views. 3 groups of women ?

Yeah brokennot, I get where you're going. Targeting women only from the "betrayed group" tells me you might believe you have some advantage of procuring relationships due to their misfortune. After all, I suppose having this common experience of "betrayal of infidelity " rather than pursuing a whole person with skills which complements....is a better addition to what already exist. Preferences for women who were once "betrayed" might seem to smell romance easily, but the stench of short sightedness will take over. Be careful of seeking out one's weaknesses.

Toby you are off target,
I didnt don't and won't prey on anyone including the meek and weak.
I am messed up royally from my wife's gift of infidelity,I don't see myself getting it all together, nor do I see myself needing someone to fix me, I think that I will heal but that I'll always be a bit askew.
I imagine that from the betrayed group that my askewness would be understood. And, I think that I would understand a woman with similar self geometry issues.
Kind if along the lines of how I couldn't understand how people who were cheated on couldn't "just move on"
And now I do ,
I guess I only want to open up to someone that gets the reason for my askewness

Toby, I'll try again ....
I'm radioactive from the betrayal, the half life of which will outlive me.
It does not define me but I will always be radioactive .
I think that only someone else that is radioactive would understand.

Also....I think that those that choose to cheat, that can cheat, are not anyone that I want to be with, so I'm counting that group out

Wait, am I hearing an echo??.... " I imagine that from the betrayed group that my awkwardness would be understood." Again, you've conveyed the same message , different words.

My friend, what is off target, is your date selector . And that would be your preferred group as you so claim. After all, "I think that only someone else that is radioactive would understand" means why not pursue [prefer] some likely woman whose been betrayed since this woman type would likely OVERLOOK your flaw !!!

Maybe re-gauging your self -esteem back to a healthy range might be a better pay off to your selector. Get thy to a men's group ASAP.

Sorry I would chime in but 6 months out of my divorce, (not even quite final yet) I haven't been there, one of my co-worker's said there was a sense of sadness after the first new experience almost guilt. But who know's I imagine the experience is different for everyone. I'm in no hurry to find out I just hope it's not a short experience due to the newness of everything. lol...

I kinda get what Broken is saying. There is comfort in the familiar. We tend to seek out those we have commonality with. We also each have preferences and "types" that we find attractive.

But I agree that to limit yourself to just this ONE group, is unfair to you and any prospective women out there. You could be denying yourself the love of your life just because you think she doesn't fall into the right category. Or you could be generalizing against a really great woman for no sound reason.

It's like going into an ice cream shop that has lots of deliciously different flavors to choose from and only choosing vanilla not because its your favorite, but only because you've had it before.

HA....that said....I could really use 21 flavors right now!

21 flavors huh? Gotta love that sense of humor!

I can totally imagine that there will be some sadness, now that it's mentioned. Makes perfect sense to me - we are all human and divorce and loss of a dream isn't fun. After all, we all want the same thing don't we? Someone to share our lives with and to happy within ourselves. Hopefully, the sadness will pass and it will be a turning point to a much happier and brighter future.

This is a very hard journey all of us are on - there is no getting around it - but we will all make it through - of that I have no doubt.

KRKING, wise words.

The concept is, most people do like sex. I suppose thoughts of weirdness/ awkwardness can work itself to block the pleasure senses, forcing the added pressure on performance. I suppose you could shut your eyes and try harder.

Just maybe you aren't emotionally ready. One generally says "yes" to someone you like/enjoy. In truth, do you even like the person??? If your voice says "yuck, don't do it", it means you don't like the person enough . For the guys: you can't expect your recipient not to notice. A lot of mature women will NOT overlook this little matter of "weirdness" of physical expression.

Toby....I don't understand your last two sentences.

....bummer.....
I'm just a love machine and I won't work for nobody but you.

2.5 decades

I think you should only move forward when you are ready to. You will know because you will get the butterflies in your stomach and excitement rushing through your skin. If you do not feel any of this and actually feel sad about making love then you are not ready. The guy I am with now, I practically jumped his bones. He totally turned me on. Was it awkward the first time, a little, but it is also exciting.