LOL that will help your sleep problem! :)

What is 'made love'?? LOLOL It's going to be a long time before that happens here.

Put those thoughts aside. You really have a lot of work to do on yourself before you jump into a new relationship. No wonder you can't sleep.

Not remotely thinking about jumping into another
Relationship.

There might not be anyone still on this site
That could answer that question. They would
Have moved on. JS

Yep, amen and agree with all the above. wiseman49 isn't sounding too wise right now...lol

It's not as weird as I thought it would be. Remember, that's supposed to be fun! However, normal it was physically, as a woman, mentally we never relax, and so my brain was working too hard the whole time, making comparisons, worrying about my older body, etc...got easier the second time.

wiseman49 - I am one of the original members of this group and was already divorced in 2008 wh en I discovered this place. But I still maintain somewhat of a presence here when the topics come up that I feel I can make some kind of meaningful contribution to.

My first time post-divorce was actually BETTER than the caliber of sex I had experienced with my now-X for the last few years of our marriage.

But like the others have said, it's way too early for you to be even THINKING about this....well, you can think about it, but do yourself a favor and don't ACT on it. Divorce after a long-term marriage is emotionally trying enough without dragging someone else into the mix.

Just sayin'

I would also take the time and wait until it is really what you feel is right. Jumping into "it" with someone else isn't fair to you or to them. And, btw, it's definitely not as weird as I thought it would have been. Also just saying.

I haven't done it yet, but I can tell you that it will be GREAT - no matter what :)

Again not jumping into bed with anyone soon.
Thanks to everyone who replied. I would like to hear
From one of the guys.

As a man.....what do you "regular", non arrogant men, think of us "older women"? Do guys all really want the younger, sexy, perfect supermodel? I mean, ya you all fantasize, but in reality....do us plain janes stand a chance?

Reality is we can't get (Lol) a super model. I find a slender
Plain Jane very attractive. But looks are in the eyes
Of the beholder. And inner beauty is what matters most.

I have to agree with CGK--my first time after the divorce was amazing!!! What a difference when you are with someone who is not a selfish lover.

I thought the same things you did during my healing time, but remember, the guy you may be with won't exactly have a body like a 21 year old. Also, when it's right, you won't even think of that stuff.

But I do agree with the others--take time to heal completely before you venture out into the Land of Men and Dating.

Sending hugs!!!

It is all too soon for me to consider for real but I do wonder.
Silly stuff... If the willie would stay wooden, not a problem I've encountered but it hS been 26 plus years with "only" my wife, ( never thought that only was anything but good ...and kinda sexy too)

I'll be stuck for a long time in that I'm getting to the point that I don't think I can help myself be just "working on me" I think I'm close to being able to make better progress with someone else in the boat, I'll don't think that I'll ever be who I was is some ways my confidence is shot to hell, do I would only be lying to someone if they wanted to be with superman, that goes across all things in a relationship including the bedroom fireworks.

There is a part of me that will always be bruised . I'm an odd bird in that I would admit that I'm a man with feelings. I think that I am perceptive of peoples feelings and emotions and I am sensitive myself. That being said any women that is looking for a "yeah baby, I got this" won't get that from me.


Also, I think that the dating pool will be comprised of 3 general groups of women my age (51).
In general one group will be those that were cheating wives , not an appealing group for me.
One group will be comprised of women that for nany reasons marriages / relationships just didn't work out. --- but no infidelity by either not really a group for me, I'm too damaged inside from my wife's infidelity, they could not understand and I wouldn't waste their time. and the last group will be comprised of those that experienced the betrayal of infidelity. That is my group in that who else could understand the stark places that my soul has crept through meeker than a mouse I've been made . Maybe a lady that has been through that could see the sAme in me , maybe only someone that has been betrayed could see that although I am weak and cut to the core that not all of my strength is gone, the strength to be trusted and not betray remains.
I'm still who I was in that I am charming, I can turn a quick clever phrase and get you to laugh, I can still work a room and get people talking but my heart is not in that anymore. My heart aches from being so alone, from having no one that will open up her vulnerabilities to me knowing that I want to be awRe of what those vulnerabilities may be so that I could provide comfort for the storm inside another's soul. My heart aches from being alone with my own vulnerabilities.

I miss lovemaking and quickies but my God how I miss someone trusting me and I miss believing in someone enough to tell them my fears and joys.

Only a woman from that betrayed group could be able to see thAt I am genuine. Only a woman from that group could see that my lack if bravado , only if they were willing to look below the surface, is not weakness only that I'm done with the show and image.
I am damaged goods and as such I hold my head high know that I never damAged anyone and I won't damage the next woman that has the ability / personality / values to be willing to see me
Because when I do hope meet someone --- I won't be "selling" myself.

Sorry for how the previous post is a little humbly, a lot if times I'm stuck posting on a I phone, makes it tough to read for revisions before submitting