Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
My ex wife texted me to call her. I had not spoken to her in 2 months and that was only about our
16yr old sons flight to & from Wash. DC. We've been divorced for a year. She had said before our
divorce that we could possibly get back together again some day. We had been married for 20 years.
There was no infidelity, abuse in our 20 years of marriage. We have 2 children, son 16 & daughter 21.
I had gone to marriage counseling for a year before our divorce. She only went one time.
She says now she wants both of us to go. She said she still loves me. I know I still love her.
What should I do ?
16yr old sons flight to & from Wash. DC. We've been divorced for a year. She had said before our
divorce that we could possibly get back together again some day. We had been married for 20 years.
There was no infidelity, abuse in our 20 years of marriage. We have 2 children, son 16 & daughter 21.
I had gone to marriage counseling for a year before our divorce. She only went one time.
She says now she wants both of us to go. She said she still loves me. I know I still love her.
What should I do ?
I know you have proposed going to counseling with your minister. That's all fine and well, but they are not trained and not qualified to diagnose personality disorders, depression or any one of a number of mitigating factors which may have played a part in the initial breakup.
Just sayin...
Wiseman...I am one of the few here who is divorced twice to the same man. My ex would not go to counseling...with a licensed therapist...it only took 2 years for those old patterns to return 10 fold...we lasted only 3 years. I can not stress enough the importance of a therapist..truly...anything less is an open door to fail on both your parts. A therapist would help you as well. The emotions that are brought up with reconciliation are tough...trust being the hardest. If you truly do want to make this work...go that extra mile...Big Hugs...Kathy
(((HUGS)))
work. Thanks for the advice everyone.
love and hugs
kamary
But like you, my wife and I divorced after a 20 year marriage. No infidelity, no drugs/alcohol, no money issues. She suffered from some deep depression rooted in her battle with PMDD ( a severe form of PMS ) and thought she could be happier on her own. That decision nearly killed me. But I turned to my faith.
We remained friends during the 18 months we were divorced and our son benefited from us being friendly. We both dated and had brief relationships – but neither was ever really happy for one reason…we still loved each other.
We reached a point where we started discussing reconciliation. We did see a couples counselor and work through the issues that laid the ground work for our marriage running out of gas. We spent equal (even more) time with our priest.
Long story short, we remarried last July on the beach in Florida and had a formal convalidation (Catholic recognition of matrimony) last November 29th. That will be the date of our official new anniversary.
Love is powerful. Faith is powerful. Inner soul is powerful. Listen to all of those voices.
God Bless all of those here who hurt. God Bless all of my old friends here.
won't work out just take it slow.
Good luck to you.