Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group
I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...
I know some of you may have wondered if I fell off the face of the planet. I've been away for quite a long time. There are so many new people here, which makes me both sad and glad to get to know their stories. And, I've missed the familiar ones. After this last semester, the most brutal I've ever experienced, I wasn't sure I was going to survive the whole college education experience. But, survive I have. I'm now only 4 months away from graduation!! I'm slowly trying to play catch up on the posts and get to know some of the new members.
I'll soon be moving again, after graduation, to be closer to my friends and begin yet another new chapter in my life. I wish I could say that everything was humming along seamlessly in the healing and recovery journey. Although I'm nearing the 3 year mark, I'm still been battling some intense anger and lately fear. I think the fear stems from uncertainty about my ability to provide for myself post graduation. I thought I had finally put most of my fears and anxiety to rest. I guess there's still a lot more room for growth and healing. All in good time. I keep trying to redirect my fears back to gratitude for all the many blessings I've experienced.
I hope you have all enjoyed a wonderful holiday with your family and friends. My son specifically asked to spend Christmas with me, which turned out to be beyond wonderful. We really bonded over the holiday. Those of you who have followed my story will know what a monumental step forward that is for my relationship with my son. I am eternally grateful.
While my future remains uncertain, and the jobs reports aren't always very reassuring, I know for certain that I never would have had the opportunity to finish college and embark on this exciting new adventure in my life had I still been married to my ex. It's terrifying when your whole life suddenly changes, especially when you have little to no control over those changes. But, good things can also come from it.
All my best to everyone,
Kim
I'll soon be moving again, after graduation, to be closer to my friends and begin yet another new chapter in my life. I wish I could say that everything was humming along seamlessly in the healing and recovery journey. Although I'm nearing the 3 year mark, I'm still been battling some intense anger and lately fear. I think the fear stems from uncertainty about my ability to provide for myself post graduation. I thought I had finally put most of my fears and anxiety to rest. I guess there's still a lot more room for growth and healing. All in good time. I keep trying to redirect my fears back to gratitude for all the many blessings I've experienced.
I hope you have all enjoyed a wonderful holiday with your family and friends. My son specifically asked to spend Christmas with me, which turned out to be beyond wonderful. We really bonded over the holiday. Those of you who have followed my story will know what a monumental step forward that is for my relationship with my son. I am eternally grateful.
While my future remains uncertain, and the jobs reports aren't always very reassuring, I know for certain that I never would have had the opportunity to finish college and embark on this exciting new adventure in my life had I still been married to my ex. It's terrifying when your whole life suddenly changes, especially when you have little to no control over those changes. But, good things can also come from it.
All my best to everyone,
Kim
I too struggle with the worry of supporting myself but I am doing it and I am sure you can as well! Can't wait to hear the updates!
Prettymamkitty, the short version of my story about my son is that my ex left me for another woman. He kicked me out of our home in front of our kids. Although the entire community knew of his infidelity, he somehow managed to convince my son (19 at the time of our separation and divorce) that the divorce was all my fault. My son wouldn't talk to me for over a year. Every time I tried to talk to him, he would turn away from me or refuse to return my calls. But, over time, he started to answer my messages and even asked to come visit me. It's a huge deal that he asked to spend Christmas with me. I am so grateful for the time we had together. He's even initiating conversations, which is something he never did before. And, we're even planning a trip together.
So, anyone whose experiencing estrangement from their kids, I do believe that time helps and eventually things will turn around. When people told me that he would come around, I didn't believe it. But, he did. Never give up hope, and never stop praying.
I to can relate to your son situation.
It took about 4 or 5 years for my son to start getting
Closer to me. Now 8 years later, we talk on the phone
Just about everyday. We laugh and joke around like we
Use to. My two Grandchildren are still a little stand off with
me, but that's slowly getting better too.
My x left me for an old boyfriend..... it was her fault and I suffered.
A common story around here.
I made a mistake years ago and should have confronted my son as to why he is that way.
At that time in my life I was really mentally a mess.
Kim......head up high.........