Divorce after Twenty years together Community Group

I want to start something for those of us that were married for a long long time. I think that we face a little different issues than those who were dating for a few years or even married for shorter period of time. Being married for so long we have older children some have grandkids dealing with teenagers and their reaction to the divorice empty nesters dating after 40...

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Another article...trying to prepare myself

LisaMariB
LisaMariB
Ok I guess I've been reading a lot. Found this on chumplady.com and it hit because my x is coming into town next weekend to be with the kids. Let's see how I'll do...avoidance is my best option!

http://www.scarymommy.com/the-time-i-ran-into-my-ex-husband/#sthash.Ty2Iee2A.uxfs&st_refDomain=t.co&st_refQuery=/fO9TNjZZaY
Time4Kim
Time4Kim
I totally understand how terrifying this would feel. I don't have my ex coming to town, but every time I see my grown children and they talk about him, it's as if he's standing in the room and I have nowhere to retreat. I hate that I feel this way, and I want to believe that when the time comes and I am forced to see him face-to-face that I will handle it with dignity and grace. Right now, based on current emotions, I feel pretty certain that I will fall terribly short of that mark. I can only hope that I am given enough time before it happens to heal a little more and get myself truly together. Otherwise, I'll be looking for a brand spankin' new rock to crawl under. The old one is getting a little worn anyway. ;)

Hang in there. Let us all know how it goes.
MNMama
MNMama
Oh Wow Lisa..... Great blog. Funny how we can move so far forward and then be sent back 5 years in an instant. I was doing so will and had a real set back yesterday. Oh well, so I whine, pick myself up and get back on the path to recovery.
The good thing is you know he's coming. I had some worries about spending time with my wasband at our son's graduation and it all went well, much better than I expected. I think the thing that caught ScaryMommy was the element of surprise. I could be friendly and gracious with my ex at the graduation stuff, but it would be a very different scenario if he walked around the corner of my building at home.
Remember, good manners are a great cover up for negative or nervous emotions, and you'll come off with grace and poise. Good luck.
tobywinn
tobywinn
This is so funny, I laughed out of my seat. I suppose the lesson here is, if whenever you do see your ex, rather than put on the "ugly face", put on your best "smiley happy face" and do a happy dance right there on the spot [even if it does hurts ya! ] Hopefully, in seeing your happiness, they'll pour coals over their heads and burn with regret !!!
startingover2011
startingover2011
I did just that at my DD29's wedding last year and danced the night away. However, my ex has no regrets as he is now married to the OW who supports his lazy you-know-what!