Hi beautiful friends Disney still here and growing by leaps and bounds. The darkness has faded and the Light is warm and beautiful. I hope all of you are finding strength and hope for the future and your new life after the horrors of Divorce are becoming a distant memory. I know there are alot of new friends on here now and the best advice I can give you is NEVER STOP BELIEVING IN YOURSELF and NEVER GIVE UP ON YOU!!!!! All of us have the Love and Power within ourselves to get through the damage caused by our ex spouses. My ex even though he was the one who just abandoned us after 23 years without ever shedding a single tear managed to drag our divorce out for 2 years. Should have been very simple no money really, no property, no stocks or bonds, retirement accounts ect.... Should of cost very little you ran away just pay your support and go away. But he decided after a year of being gone he wanted custody of our minor child, he wanted NOT!!! to pay spousal support that the Judge had already ordered, he wanted not to take responsbility for any of his lame ass choices and still blame ME for why he had to pay it????

Still to this day has not admitted any wrong doing for what he did to his family even with our adult children still not speaking to him, losing all respect for the man they looked up to for so many years, still it's not because of him and his choices it's because mom is making you guys feel that way about me because I left her. He really will NEVER EVER EVER!!!!! take any accountability or admit he was the one who caused the devistation to his family financially, emotionally, and physically. So after almost 2 years of desperately searching for the answers to those questions that never go away....you know the one's i'm talking about they occupy at least 95% of your days and nights in the beginning of a Divorce or Seperation.
1) WHY did he do this???
2) HOW could he do this to us???
3) WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME????
4) What could I have done better????
5) What can I do to get him to come home???
6) What does she do for him that his loving, attentive, supportive, mother of his children couldn't do for him???
7) WHY is it so easy for him to just move on be happy while I cant even get out of bed????
8) IS it me God??? I must be an aweful person for the man I loved for so long to HATE me so much???
9) What did I ever do to him??? I cooked, cleaned, worked outside the home, soccer practice, baseball games, pta meetings, teacher conferences, fund raisers, company dinners at our house that I planned, catered, and cleaned up, I gave him so much attention all the time never asking anything from him except maybe a little appreciation and a Thanks for all you do every once in awhile....
9) Why wasn't it enough God.... How could he find happiness with someone else when I did everything for him for 23 years and never once complained about any of it????
10) WILL THE PAIN AND HURT EVER GO AWAY??????

Yes, my friends in time all the sleepless, stress, filled exausting days and nights slowly become a distant memory and one day before you even realize it you can just BREATHE AGAIN. You begin to notice your laughing again, sleeping again, eating again and actually enjoying a meal, reading, going out with friends maybe even a date or 2. But you are LIVING again and you start to realize all those questions that you just can't seem to answer only have ONE ANSWER.... It WAS NEVER YOU!!!! YOU ARE NOT THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM!!!!! What ever the reason for our spouses leaving after decades together is on them. Hold them up to their responsibilities especially if there are young children involved. I FOUGHT FOR MY SON AND WHAT WAS RIGHTFULLY OWED TO US AFTER 23 YEARS. My ex thought I was just going to cower down and except the table scraps he would throw me. T will always be the sweet, kind, caring, loving wife she always has been and just take wht I decide to give her. WRONG!!!!! See what these men don't realize is that in their absence WE GROW AND THRIVE AND DISCOVER STRENGTH IN OURSELVES WE NEVER KNEW WE HAD BEFORE BECAUSE WE ALWAYS PUT THEM FIRST!!!!! Every woman is a STAR and she DESERVES THE RIGHT TO SHINE!!!! But for alot of us we are perfectly happy letting our husbands and children take center stage while we quitely run everything from behind the scenes. Never really getting any credit but kn owing in ourselves that none of it is possible without US!!!

My dear friends I hope hearing my story and knowing there are alot of us out here who were just where you are now. Scared, lonely, confused, heart broken, feeling totally useless and beaten down. When my H walked out on us we lost everything, Our Home, Our Car, I had to sell alot of my stuff just to put food n the table while I hear his was out partying, dating, wining and dining other women while his children and wife were hungry. But friends KARMA IS A BITCH..... By the time we actually got to trial I was alot stronger and didn't let him get away with anything. The courts didn't either ordering him to pay a total of 1500 a month in child support, spousal support, and arreages for him not following the courts original support orders put in place almost 2 years ago. He was ordred to pay this amount until the year 2022 our son will be 22 by then. So see sometimes the good guys do win you just have to be patient and hold on to your strength and FIGHT FOR YOURSELF, FIGHT FOR YOUR SELF WORTH.... Oh he he got NO CUSTODY only 4 days a month but of course that's my fault to I made the Judge feel sorry for me?????

I'm here if any of you need a friend, someone to listen and someone who understands the pain and heartache that comes from a Divorce. Life does get better, there really is light at the end of a long dark journey and how beautiful and warm it is. I hope all of you can bask in the sunlight with me soon. Hold on friends life really is beautiful again. I just bought my OWN HOME again all by myself and I got my daughter back in college where she belongs, my little boy is a straight A student and on the student councel, my older son is finally planning his wedding again. And as for me i'm dating a wonderful man he's a firefighter and he ADORES ME. I'm taking it slow of course but it feels really awesome. Disney trip already planned for Feb 2013 and my ex well, his girlfriend kicked him out, and he had to go live with his parents because he can't afford a place of his own not with what he has to pay us every month:) So maybe now he is thinking maybe I should have never left my beautiful family???????
God Bless all of you, and your never alone.
Disney:)