Diets & Weight Maintenance Support Group

Chat about how well your latest diet is -- or is not -- working. This group is a great place to find support and accountability as well as share success stories and valuable lessons with the community. From where to start to weekly weigh-ins, get help from others to reach your dieting and weight maintenance goals.

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livideuphoria 10/04/2008

My boyfriend and I have been together 2 years this past June. When we first got together, I weighed about 340 and currently weigh 280. I have to say, I feel as if he was the person who believed in me enough to make me realize that I had it in me to lose the weight. For the last year of our relationship, he was gone for the majority of it, living in WV to assist his father to build a house. He would visit every month or so. He is now home for good and we are living together. I love him to death but sometimes I feel as if he is sabotaging me. Not on purpose of course, he tells me that he wants me to know what it feels like to be fit, to be healthy. But I can't help but take his "advice" and "tips" the wrong way. I also was doing VERY well the last time he was gone too... I had a regular exercise routine and managed to lose almost half of the total weight I lost from the end of July to the end of Sept. For example, he wants to eat out (I only go out to eat for sushi b/c I can't make that and its fairly healthy..) He wants us to have our meals together (most of the time he is hungry, I am NOT...) Plus I am just not comfortable discussing my weight (he doesn't know the #) with him because I am SO ashamed of it. He is an amazing man, but it is so frustrating because I have only lost less than 2 lbs since he's been home.... HELP!!!

deleted_user 10/04/2008

When I started dating my bf I thought the same thing about him sabatoging my weight loss. He hates vegetables so I stopped cooking them and he always ate fast food and never liked to exercise. I had been regularly exercising before I met him and was in really good shape but I thought I could live like him and ended up gaining 50lbs in 2 years. I realized that nobody is going to support my weight loss better than myself and nobody can live healthy for me. Just keep making those life changes and realize how far you've already come. You're beautiful by the way, I LOVE your bone structure so as long as you know you dont have to lose weight for anybody besides your own physical well being, you will succeed in everything you set your self up to do. Just stay motivated and keep doing the hard work, it will pay off.

deleted_user 10/04/2008

My husband does this around the holidays. he gets all upset because i refuse to eat the sweets (like candy). he says one wouldn't hurt me. i have to keep reminding him one isn't going to hurt me but the next 20 or 30 will if i start with one. he doesn't understand but he sees the benefits of me losing weight. BUT....he also says I 'eat like a bird" and am getting to thin. I am not too thin. I still need to get down to 125lbs and I am at 150.

I hope your boyfriend will realize one day that sabatoging you or saying things isn't the way to live a healthy life. give him time. I am pretty sure he'll get it.

deleted_user 10/05/2008

This is going to be for LIFE or you will gain the weight back. Still just do what you normally do for your routine when he is not around. If you go out to eat and there is nothing you feel comfortable ordering - remember moderation and portion control. I mean even at Mcdonalds you can get grilled chicken and a salad. Hope this helps.

deleted_user 10/05/2008

wow.... how sad, no offence, but don't blame others for your dirty work so to say. Yea you wanna be fit, but don't forget you have love there and many don't have, hell I ain't that big and can't find a man who will love me the way I am. so appreciate what you got. don't forget those lil moment together, eating together and dinner. so what if you screw up for a night, there's always tomorrow to start over... hell I binged all day Friday and yesterday and didn't kick myself, cause today, I got back on the wagon on what I know I have to do... so you're not losing because maybe you're in a plateau or need to work harder or something. shame on you, no offence, but yea.

deleted_user 10/05/2008

totally agree with everyone.. i have lost alot of weight and when my bf and i go to dinner we go to our usuall restaurants.. i dont say i cant go here because the food is fatty.. i usually get grilled chicken , salad etc..its all about portion control

deleted_user 10/05/2008

I feel for you. I don't live with my BF but that's what I worry would happen if I do live with him (or my future husband). But I think there are ways which you could compromise to make it work. For example:

1) He wants to eat out but you don't. (I can soo relate to you on this one! lol). Ask if he has a friend he could/would want to eat out with. If he wants to eat out with YOU, then suggest places which serve food that are acceptable to your diet plan. Give him 3-4 choices to pick from; he'll feel like he's still in control ;)

2) He wants to have meals together. Well, if you're not hungry but he wants to eat with you, you could fix him something he wants but you could have only a little something such as a bowl of soup. Later, when you're really hungry for food, then you can eat again.

3) When he asks about your weight / weight loss progress, just politely tell him that you're not comfortable in discussing these issues with him. If he really loves you, he'll respect your wishes. (I bet there are some issues in his life he's not comfortable in discussing with you, too)

4) Just continue on with your regular exercising. Let him know your exercise schedule so that you guys can plan around that. Hell, it's your personal time and you deserve it. It's just like your work schedule. Would he ask you to skip work so that you guys could hang out together?

If he's really the "amazing man" you said he is, then I'm sure you can implement the above suggestions with no problem =)

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