Hi all, I'm new to the group!

I have been on a pretty strict diet and workout schedule for about a month now, and right when I thought I was doing well (lost four pounds) I fell off the wagon. Most of it was due to being sick and making excuses for myself. I live with family that do not eat well and do not really support my weight loss journey. Without getting into extremely long details, my mother is set in her ways, and as much as she has done certain things (e.g. cooking recipes that I have chosen once or twice a week) I mostly have to do it myself. I am an adult, and I should not be complaining about that, I understand that I shouldn't, but sometimes I wish that I had a family that truly cared about my wellbeing. I am diabetic so most of the stuff we have in the house I can and should not eat, but most of the time I would do it because financially I was not able to buy my own food. Sadly, I applied for food stamps at one point so I was actually ABLE to buy healthy food. Now that I am financially able to take care of myself, I struggle out of pure laziness and horrible routine. I am changing my habits, though, but it has been hard.

I have a condition called PCOS, I am diabetic, and I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar Depression. With that lovely combination I am on five different medications, three of them that are said to cause weight gain. Every day is a struggle for me, and on some days it is even harder to stay on track, but I am trying. My best friend moved back to my neighborhood, and that has honestly helped me stay somewhat on track. We are in this journey together, and that really motivates me. But unfortunately, on weekends like this past one, I struggle because of my environment. I went to visit my father, and the first thing he did was order pizza. Don't get me wrong, I love pizza, but I shouldn't be eating it. I told him sure, because I didn't want to be a bother and tell him that I rather order a chicken Cesar salad. I'm sure he would have, but I didn't want to be difficult or picky. Maybe I was just making excuses so I can eat the pizza. Pizza turned into leftovers the next day, and it started to snow, so I made the excuse to skip jogging because I didn't want to slip down the hills. Then I slipped into a pretty low depression and felt bad about myself. All we did all weekend was sit on the couch and watch TV. I was happy to spend time with my father, but I was mad at myself for not being more active. I ate chocolate and drank Gatorade, and as much as I knew I shouldn't I did it anyway. My friend texted me a picture that he burned 1000 calories on the Elliptical, and I felt jealous knowing that I probably ate 1000 in one sitting. Either way, I got myself out of the funk, and today I am home and trying to think positive.

Losing weight is hard. Losing weight when you are on medications that make you fat is even harder. I have two weeks until I go back to school, and I need to come up with a way to stay active and eat healthy at the same time as achieving straight A's. Suffering from Bipolar Depression is not fun, but the medication I am on helps. I just wish it didn't cause weight gain. I feel stronger since I have been working out, but I wish I saw results quicker. I lost four pounds and gained three. I know that I shouldn't be concerned with a number, but it still makes me feel bad. I guess what I am trying to say is that depression and weight loss is a struggle. I cannot allow myself to fall off the wagon because then it triggers my depression. I have done a good job and pulled myself out before it got any worse because I know that my issues are related to making excuses. I need to start being honest with myself if I am going to get through this and do what I have to do.

I'm hoping that someone on here can relate to having depression and trying to lose weight. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

-C