Diets & Weight Maintenance Support Group

Chat about how well your latest diet is -- or is not -- working. This group is a great place to find support and accountability as well as share success stories and valuable lessons with the community. From where to start to weekly weigh-ins, get help from others to reach your dieting and weight maintenance goals.

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diddley 08/08/2007

I am self-destructing and I am not really sure why...

Todays confession...from my journal

I am a secret binge-eater, a person that eats much more than she lets on, y'know hiding the wrappers etc. This is what I ate today:

bowl of cereal and a banana (good start)

then slices of toast (geting a little carried away)

2 cheese and ham panini's with loads of cheese

2 packets of mini jaffa cakes

the above is totally unbalanced but...

then in the evening in a moment of utter madness (when everyone else was in bed) to make it worse I made a swift trip to the local garage to buy junk food snacks and upon my return I ate the following IN ONE SITTING WITHOUT STOPPING:

2 packets of pork scratchings (basically bags of fat - vulgar)

1 king size snickers bar

1 crunchie bar

1 V large galaxy bar

2 large flap jacks

and I drank 1 whole litre of milk (I don't even drink milk)

I felt really, really sick and wished that I could do it, but luckily my fear of vomiting saves me from adding that one to my issues with food. So here it is, a confession, it's no longer a secret. I have never told ANYBODY about it before, I am pretty good at hiding it.

I am so scared that I have no self control, what is it that makes me do it to myself?? What are your thoughts?

deleted_user 08/08/2007

Sometimes I do it too! Sometimes I think I am trying to fill an emotional void with the food I eat, but the more I eat the worse I feel. Food doesnt make anything better. I feel for you sweetie...if u need a friend let me know!

diddley 08/08/2007

Thanks, think you are right about the emotional void. Yet even though I know it won't make me feel better - I go right ahead and do it all over again. Vicious circle or what!

deleted_user 08/08/2007

Wow! Well, I just want to say...I"m glad you're honest about your binge eating and that maybe this can open your eyes a bit that this is going to screw up your health in the long run. We've all done the binge eating...I have! I once, and maybe still can, ate 2 whole bags of potato chips in one sitting. And had a big ass meal afterwards! Anyway, Diddley there are many reasons why your body reacts the way it does...wanting to binge eat. But, the question you should be asking yourself is, "Do I WANT to stop eating like this?" Not, why am I eating like this. I hope you figure things out. Best of luck!

diddley 08/08/2007

Yeah, it was really hard to admit it and I know that I am on the road to major poor health if I don't stop it. I really DO want to stop eating like this, but it is difficult to quit. I certainly don't enjoy it. Thanks for the advice.

deleted_user 08/09/2007

It's probably something that varies from person to person. For me binge eating was a symptom of other problems. I was depressed and struggling to handle my wife's illness(es). A lot of that was guilt from me feeling sorry for myself about the impact of her illness on my life even though she was the one suffering.

I don't know why we do these things. It didn't help me cope better or feel better. It was just some kind of outlet valve for a lot a pent up stuff I guess.

Two things that helped for me were doing what you've done here and being honest about it. I wasn't even honest with myself and I'd really underestimate how much I was eating.

The other was working on the other problems that were causing me to binge. Rather than tackling binge eating head on I tackled the mental aspects of coming to terms with problems.

Since then things have been a lot better, but it can still be a struggle at times.

That's not really advice or anything. But just to let you know your not alone. I have no idea why I did it to myself either!

deleted_user 08/09/2007

P.S. I'd never be brave enough to join a site like this and list what I was eating. A big part of it was a macho denial thing. Men don't have eating disorders so I can't have one! I think your honesty here is really a big/good step.

I just noticed you're in the UK too! Although I should have guessed from the food you ate. A lot of very British stuff in there.

deleted_user 08/09/2007

It is great that you are admitting it out loud and seeking support to stop. You are taking a step forward!

I too am trying to work on my binge eating so I have no answers as to why. I agree that it is probably different for everyone. I have been trying to write on here or talk to a friend when I feel like I need to binge. To try to figure out what is making want to binge right then by stopping and asking myself why. It is hard. This is only my second day in a row with no binge since a 4 day binge blast. I wish you luck!

diddley 08/09/2007

Thank you all so much for your excellent advice and kind words of support, much appreciated. =;-)

deleted_user 08/10/2007

I just have a quick tip of advice, not sure if it will help or not. Last time I went on a binge (4 days ago) afterwards, feeling shamed and disgusted, I took a moment...just shut off the television and took in all my emotions. I took that feeling and "filed" it, if you will, in my brain and yesterday when I was craving everything I could think of...I just took out that feeling of disgust that I had after eating like that last time. It doesn't work forever, and the feeling gets "forgotten" after a while but if it cuts back on incidents of binging...so, whatever works! It helps me anyways, keeps me encouraged to eat healthy to feel the best I can (most of the time!). Take care.

deleted_user 08/10/2007

Fisrt of all, hugs to you, as the responses here tell you that you are not alone. I have also had more than a few binges myself, and I know what you mean about feeling so bad afterward. Something that someone told me has really helped with this and other emotional eating-When I feel like having a blowout over pizza, candy and anything else I can find, I write in a journal. Mine is just a notebook, but it helps me get out whatever stresses I have, saves me from boredom eating and by the time I am done, I don't feel like eating everything anymore. Maybe that could be helpful. :)

deleted_user 08/12/2007

Important not to keep "beating yourself up" about it. What's done is done. Forgive yourself and move forward.

Not sure what might have triggered your "binge" but for me the issue is always diet depravation. For instance, I might crave a cookie and I'll fight the urge all day. That cookie is always in the back of my mind somewhere. I can't let it go but I'm winning the battle. Then something awful seems to happen (usually at night) - I start feeling the deprivation over that stupid cookie and I snap. I might eat a list very similar to yours. In the end I feel like you guilty and physically sick. So, for me the secret is to give in to one or two cookies if the urge is THAT strong and just move on and continue a healtier day of eating. Sometimes "giving in" to a cookie or two can save me a night of binging and the bad feelings that come with it.

Hope this helps a little. Don't give up - it really is a one-day-at-a-time process and it's NOT easy.

deleted_user 08/12/2007

Are you subconsciously rebelling against dieting? I know the more you think about not wanting to do something you want it more. It's like a drug and you need a fix, but in the end you always feel bad, but at the time you are doing it you are not thinking about how you will feel later. If you look at what you eat then it says you are not just over eating you are intentionally eating "bad" foods. Maybe too it is like a punishment for yourself. I hope I helped give you a different perspective. If you find the answer to this everything will be easier. Good Luck.

deleted_user 08/12/2007

I have asked myself why I would binge eat and me and my nutritionlist would talk about it. For me it was either stress and anxiety, instead of dealing with the issues causing me to feel this way or the problems I thought i couldn't deal with I would binge and then feel horrible afterward and focus all my energy on that. I think that since I believe losing weight is something I can actually accomplish if I only try hard enough that it was easier to deal with then new problems cropping up. Another reason is boredom. I have a list of things to do (mostly active), whenever I am bored and feel the need to start snacking. It's working pretty well so far. The last reason is exhaustion. When I am feeling really physically tired I always end up binging on carbs and sugar. I could eat a whole package of crackers and 3 candy bars in one sitting. When I am that tired I try and take a short nap if possible or eat something high in protien like yogurt of nuts.
If you really think that you binge out of emotion you might want to talk to a good counsler. Maybe they can help youi learn how to address the issues that are causing you to binge instead of turning to food. Good Luck!

deleted_user 08/12/2007

Thank you for your honesty, that is what we are all here for to encourage each other and not judge. I am a binge eater, grazer, starver, over excerciser, and just a plain eat more than I burn off. I don't throw up either.....but trust me I have tried after a big binge also!!!

deleted_user 08/12/2007

I am sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time. How were you feeling when you got the urge to eat all of this food? Did something happen in your life that you felt helpless? When I keep a food journal I am also writing what my personal feelings were and how I felt after completing my eating. I noticed that when I start to feel overwhelmed I tend to eat more....now I walk. Being honest keeps your problem out of the closet and helps you deal with the issue better. If you are having trouble determining what is causing this you may want to consider seeing a counselor who specializes in these behavioral traits. I hope all goes better for you.

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