I'm a pre-diabetic. I have been since January 2014. And I still can't talk about it. I don't even want to think about it. I exercise often and eat very little (not as much as my nutritionist says is the healthy range, in fact). I have eating disorders as well. I just feel so alone in this. There are no other prediabetics here in my town-- or if there are, they keep it quiet like I do. I feel very hopeless sometimes, because I feel like a failure and a lost cause. I know this probably sounds overly dramatic, but sometimes I feel like since my prediabetes diagnosis, I've had nothing to live for. Very few people close to me know I am prediabetic. My dad would be mean if he knew. My mom knows but never wants to talk about it. My perfect, bratty little sister doesn't need to know. I feel very inferior to everyone and it seems I've lost all faith in myself. I don't know if my condition is genetic, because the side on which it most likely stems from had poor eating and lifestyle habits, so that may have been the reason for all the heart and thyroid stuff they have. I was very obese for some time, and I'm fully ready to accept that because of that, this was probably all my fault. I feel very scared even after all these years-- I will continue to exercise and eat less but it frightens me that I could still end up a full-blown type 2-er. My boyfriend has type 1 diabetes, and he says I shouldn't be so upset about it, but he doesn't get how I feel. There's a stigma associated with type 2 diabetes that isn't there with type 1. I feel like there is no hope for my happiness. I sometimes wish I could look to someone as a mentor here in town, but I know of no one here with type 2 diabetes. I'm nervous about starting a new job tomorrow-- the stress probably isn't helping. Nor is feeling stressed about being stressed about starting my new job. I can't win.