i feel the same way at times but honestly the feeling is not true. Ive down my selfso much and was like that for years until i found this site and also found my group i go to 3 times aweek. If we vent more even though in that moment in time it may scare us and hurt us on the inside, But venting and getting things off my chest seemed to help me a whole lot . Trust me when i was told about all this and group and how it works i thought wtf do i need this for ????? But afrer getting used to it and opening up more and the more i got off my chest which in that time it more less me worrying about what people would think but i was wrong they are more concerned about me not the things i did they see me for me so once i seen that i opened more and more and the smiles and happiness started coming in. It felt strange at first and i couldnt really remember the feeling of being happy but i love it now although im not fully happy but i have more in me now than ever.

Check out my journals and post. Ive posted some of the things ive delt with and over come, It tends to help some people. I can say its not just people its us. We have to relearn the feeling all over again once we lost it and it does take some time but its well worth it. Ive over come so much and used to be full of rage, hate ,anger , no love , no feelings ...... but here i am now.

Trust me i was so far gone and made a full 180 turn and working back to the way i should be.

If i can manage to turn around then anyone can .....BIG HUGS im here if you need some one to talk to

I Don't believe you are a defect because you are depressed. I have issues with depression also, and I feel this group is helpful. I turn to God a lot - it works for me.

It's totally ok to be unhappy. Just don't unpack and live there.

It's hard for friends and family to understand depression, especially when they haven't experienced it themselves. They will often say insensitive things like, "Snap out of it" simply because they just don't get it. Groups like this are great for empathy and support. We've all been where you are and we're all at various stages of recovery.

At some point, you'll be ready to start feeling better, and it won't hurt to smile at all.

Wishing you peace :)

I absolutely don't think it's ok to be unhappy. I hate when I'm down. I think maybe you are confusing happy with the extroversial standard. Go on YouTube and look up the quiet revolution. It's a movement to help quiet reserved people come out of their shell a bit and also be more understood and accepted.
Also smiling sends a signal to your brain that all is well and actually boosts endorphins that make you feel better.

I agree with the original poster here, if I don't feel like smiling, I don't, and I rarely feel like smiling, I smile when I look at others, but that's about it. I am not going to pretend to be something I'm not just to make someone else more comfortable. If they don't like it, they can move on to something or someone else. There's way to much lying in the world as it is, and we are expected to go along with it, well I for one REFUSE. If I am not happy I am not going to pretend I am, I can't stand false people, I can't stand false messages, I despise fake people and fake values.

i havent seen anyone say walk around in a make believe place. Also if "YOU" choose to be unhappy and would rather live unhappy willingly thats all you. There are ways of over coming the feeling trust me ive been there. We are here to share and if it seems like some one is making stuff up then move on there is no need in taking the chance of a change. Some people stay unhappy just for the attention of others and its really a unhappy way to live. """whatswrong19""""if you want to stay that way its your choice but there are other ways of coping with that but idk who you are refering to about false messages and fake people but you have a rite to feel that about anyone you want its a free country but If your looking to help or get help your honestly coming at it the wrong way. Ive said the same thing you said for many years until i really truely wanted the change in life for myself. Bad intention will get no where in life and ive had alot of those in my life as well. but weare here to help not to judge one another. We come here to get away from that and seek help or give it. Maybe you should check my page out well it may also help you unless im the so called " fake person with fake values" .... but hugs to you all and hope you have a change in heart

Hello ScottyB865. Thank you so much for responding to my post. Of course I don’t want to be unhappy and miserable for the rest of my life. It just feels like it’s been happening for so long that it seems normal. It’s just that for so many years I tried to be what everybody else wanted and I changed myself and who I am over and over just to fit in with whoever was around and honestly I feel like I lost who I am and I have no idea how to even begin to figure out who I even am. So many horrible things have happened over the years and it knocked me down but then when my baby died I feel like I just stayed down and haven’t been me for 10 years now.
I do try to be friendly to people. If they smile I smile back it just doesn’t feel like how I feel on the inside. I have been in therapy for 11 years and it has helped me so much. This website helps too. I just feel like I don’t know if I’ll ever be who I was before or if I just create a new version of me. I just feel really heartbroken, depressed, sad and like a constant state of devastation. I do want to get better.

I’m sorry you are depressed too Bluebird

Thank you Sonny. I feel like I have unpacked there and set up camp and I don’t know how to get back.

Hi scandalousbeauty, My heart just goes out to you, I read your one response to someone, and I wanted to let you know that I’ve had two babies that have died. That pain and sorrow you go through is devastating. I had dealt with depression before, but nothing could have prepared me for the depression after my losses. I think its made worse with the expectations of others, on how we should deal with depression and how we need to act in a certain way. At least for me that made it worse. It was almost like I dug my heals back in further to depression in response to their expectations. I don’t know if this will help or not, but I finally made a decision for myself to choose joy. It has been a long and extremely painful process, but my depression got so bad one night that I just wanted to end it all. I had enough of it, and I just got so much into that low point that I just couldn’t take it anymore. I had to make a change for myself and instantly it felt like the chains that have held me by the wrists were gone. Don’t get me wrong though, I still struggle, and some days i’m sad and down, but depression no longer controls me. I won’t let and for myself I can’t let it control me anymore. I pray that it will happen for you as well. That your chains of depression will be gone and you can feel like the woman you once were.

Hello keeponkeepingon85. I am so sorry for the losses of your two babies. Your response helped a lot. Thank you for being so kind and understanding. I think you are so courageous for choosing joy and fighting for your life and your future. For me the suicidal spells come and go and I’ve decided to stay. I just don’t know how to feel happy or what I want to do with my life.