Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
People say that fighting for your life is worth the cause..I've been here 45 yrs and have yet to reach that conclusion..This isn't something I (or anyone else) signed up for - like wars of the past, we are drafted to serve, to fight for some abstract cause or purpose; for me life is obligatory - not purposeful. I believe my life's inertia is so powerful the energy required to change it's momentum & course is far beyond what I can supply. That also means that it is also difficult to abrubtly stop. It will take an entity far beyond my efforts to change my life's rhythm. Life takes much effort to maintain especially if you've been aloof & indifferent to the experiences that life has offered. Constantly reflecting on my negligiance has stunted potential growth leaving me even more apathetic & frustrated predicament. Perhaps it is no wonder why there's little energy..I wish I could somehow be purged of all my thoughts; start with a clean slate here going forward; or a time machine to go back and correct my senseless errors. I feel my life is the sum of my past; that it is only as good as my worse failure leaving envisioning a pointless future & a stagnant present..
I can't wait for my tour of duty to be over & I am permanently decommissioned; never again to be deployed..
I can't wait for my tour of duty to be over & I am permanently decommissioned; never again to be deployed..
I don't think you give yourself enough credit.
I often feel like this Mal. I'm hoping to create a new life, but fear that i don't hve the energy or optimism i once had. but, i can't kill myself. so i must go on.
but, i have to tell you, you write eloquently. you are intelligent. not everyone is. you are lucky. when so many on this earth have so little, such as the poor children in africa who barely have enough school supplies to learn. my wish for you is to find something that you can enjoy and find meaning in. one small thing, to share your gifts with. it's obvious that you have many.