I can so relate. I have had high blood pressure for around 6 years. My Dr has been worried and lately due to a fall i have had to go see him too much..so i finally decided to go on the BP medicine as i decided that having a stroke would be worse. I really wish i knew why i was here still..everyday is like here i still am did not die in my sleep from a heart attack and then i feel guilty..think we have depression.( Hugs)

Lily - what is making you think this way? Tell us the reason. You have value and you have your friends here and I’m sure you have many more around you. Hugs from me.

I'm just tired of living a life that's been nothing but suffering! I grew up being viciously abused in every way and neglected with no love or care. I have chronic health problems and severe depression on top of it. I've tried everything I know to improve my life and my health and nothing seems to change. Plus I'm alone in life with nobody who gives a freak about me! Been alone all my life.

I've been having extreme eye and head pain for the last couple of days and haven't felt good one day this month so far. It's been almost 4 decades of constant misery! I'd rather be dead!

This is my life. No one to care. Wishing daily for something to take me out of my misery... ( cancer, car accident, stroke, anything!!)

You certainly have every reason to be angry. There is no doubt in that. What is the most recent event that is pushing this?

to you all wish I knew how to send a hug to you all. I feel depressed at times for I had open heart years ago and now on disability at age 45 and now 56 , being home all day is tough but I do go out and do things and see my friends to make me feel better.. I deal with panic attacks high blood pressure, high cloistral, coronary artery disease, but I manage to get over it and life my life to the fullest

I hope things get better for you Lilly.

I felt the same way. You know what I’m glad I didn’t. Life really changed for the better. Look at it like this, you know what happened yesterday, and you know what happened today but you never know what will happen tomorrow.

I know how it feels to be miserable most if the time. I have made the decision, with the help of my therapist, that it's time to go back in the hospital. Will be calling them this morning to see if they have a bed. I've become treatment resistant to meds, tried TMS but found it(at least for me) intolerable. Hate to go but it might be the only thing that saves my life right now.
I've probably asked you before, but do you have a therapist or counselor to talk to???? I hope you can begin to feel better.
Sending hugs and support!!

Hi Lilly23, you are not alone. I believe God loves you, and He is good, and strong enough to get you through this. I'm sorry you are experiencing this, but it doesn't have to stay this way if you don't want it to. You can get through this and find meaning, joy and love. One step at a time. I have family members with terminal illnesses and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Can you share more about when times were not bad for you? What family or friends know how you are feeling? I Have you talked with a counselor or doctor about your experience? There is strength in numbers and community. Spending time with friends and family out of the house may help your thoughts be focused on what you do have to be thankful for. There's also a lot of good resources out there to check out if you're interested I can send some that have helped my friends and I.