Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Just a little background information about me. I'm almost 25 and a junior in college. I should of graduated this year but my depression/anxiety combo kept holding me back. I will graduate in about 2.5 years. My depression has a major impact on my life and well being. I truly believe that if I never experienced depression my life would be 100% different. I've fully been able to pursue my dreams because of my fears and constant sadness.
On a happier note I've started to take charge of my life and my depression by slowly trying new things like taking exercise classes and befriending people in my classes.
My earliest memory of my depression is about 4 years old. I was really ahead in my cognitive development and I could understand and process things that most children couldn't. I always just felt sad and empty. I could never discuss it with my parents because they would flip out on me. I spent most of my childhood alone. My mom had me at 19 and divorced my dad by 20. She was a single mom without any resources or family to help us so we lived in poverty. My dad left the picture when I was 5 by taking a job 3 hours away from me. At that time my mom had my brother by a different man and once again was a single mom but now with two kids. My mom decided to have a great social life and to attend college full time while raising us. I was shipped off to my grandparents house over 50% of the time from the ages 5-13. I don't have a lot of memories of my mom when I was younger. I would visit my dad once a year over the summer because he could not afford to travel home and miss work to see me. My grandparents were both in their late 70s and as amazing as they were it didn't make up for me not having parents.
My depression hit a whole new level at the beginning of my teens. I had suicidal thoughts at 10. I started cutting at 12. I was made fun in school for being poor and my parents both remarried which caused a lot of stress. I struggled throughout my teens and at 18 I thought it was finally over. At that time I already had two suicide attempts under my belt and my cutting stopped. So I thought I was free.
My depression lowered for a few years and it wasn't a major problem until about three years ago. I failed out of my major and I wasn't really working so all I had was time to think. I started a new school and new life. I joined a sorority and I had friends and a social life for once. But they turned their back on me because I was experiencing anxiety and depression and kicked me out. After that everything was a downward spiral. I wasn't functioning very well and did attend school for three semesters.
My depression came back in full force last March. I started feeling hopeless, staying in bed all the time, not wanting social contact, cutting, and having suicidal thoughts. My longterm boyfriend wasn't aware of the full affect of my issues. He tries to be supportive but it doesn't help. I finally started anti-depressants last summer. I started with Celexa but it gave me anxiety attacks and migraines. I went to Zoloft and felt crazy and my migraines returned. I started Wellbutrin at the beginning of April and while I can feel it working in certain ways it's a double edged swore because there is a awful part to it. I once again started cutting and having suicidal thoughts. Now I'm having panic attacks at least once a day. I cry all the time and for hours on end.
All I think about is how I'm a failure in life and how much I want to die and would anyone even care? I think my boyfriend thinks I'm doing this for attention ( he would never admit that and I could be wrong ) because last week I was very close to attempting suicide and I told him and he didn't take me seriously. He really has no idea on how to act and treat someone with depression and he isn't malicious or an awful person. He wants me to go back to the doctor but I can't lose the Wellbutrin it's the only thing helping my ibs. I have destructive thoughts all the time now.
I don't know why I've struggled so much with this. Is it because of my upbringing? Is it a fear of abandonment? Is it a chemical issue? Am I ever going to get better?
I feel like I'm always going to have to deal with depression
On a happier note I've started to take charge of my life and my depression by slowly trying new things like taking exercise classes and befriending people in my classes.
My earliest memory of my depression is about 4 years old. I was really ahead in my cognitive development and I could understand and process things that most children couldn't. I always just felt sad and empty. I could never discuss it with my parents because they would flip out on me. I spent most of my childhood alone. My mom had me at 19 and divorced my dad by 20. She was a single mom without any resources or family to help us so we lived in poverty. My dad left the picture when I was 5 by taking a job 3 hours away from me. At that time my mom had my brother by a different man and once again was a single mom but now with two kids. My mom decided to have a great social life and to attend college full time while raising us. I was shipped off to my grandparents house over 50% of the time from the ages 5-13. I don't have a lot of memories of my mom when I was younger. I would visit my dad once a year over the summer because he could not afford to travel home and miss work to see me. My grandparents were both in their late 70s and as amazing as they were it didn't make up for me not having parents.
My depression hit a whole new level at the beginning of my teens. I had suicidal thoughts at 10. I started cutting at 12. I was made fun in school for being poor and my parents both remarried which caused a lot of stress. I struggled throughout my teens and at 18 I thought it was finally over. At that time I already had two suicide attempts under my belt and my cutting stopped. So I thought I was free.
My depression lowered for a few years and it wasn't a major problem until about three years ago. I failed out of my major and I wasn't really working so all I had was time to think. I started a new school and new life. I joined a sorority and I had friends and a social life for once. But they turned their back on me because I was experiencing anxiety and depression and kicked me out. After that everything was a downward spiral. I wasn't functioning very well and did attend school for three semesters.
My depression came back in full force last March. I started feeling hopeless, staying in bed all the time, not wanting social contact, cutting, and having suicidal thoughts. My longterm boyfriend wasn't aware of the full affect of my issues. He tries to be supportive but it doesn't help. I finally started anti-depressants last summer. I started with Celexa but it gave me anxiety attacks and migraines. I went to Zoloft and felt crazy and my migraines returned. I started Wellbutrin at the beginning of April and while I can feel it working in certain ways it's a double edged swore because there is a awful part to it. I once again started cutting and having suicidal thoughts. Now I'm having panic attacks at least once a day. I cry all the time and for hours on end.
All I think about is how I'm a failure in life and how much I want to die and would anyone even care? I think my boyfriend thinks I'm doing this for attention ( he would never admit that and I could be wrong ) because last week I was very close to attempting suicide and I told him and he didn't take me seriously. He really has no idea on how to act and treat someone with depression and he isn't malicious or an awful person. He wants me to go back to the doctor but I can't lose the Wellbutrin it's the only thing helping my ibs. I have destructive thoughts all the time now.
I don't know why I've struggled so much with this. Is it because of my upbringing? Is it a fear of abandonment? Is it a chemical issue? Am I ever going to get better?
I feel like I'm always going to have to deal with depression
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Do you think anxiety is genetic or comes from your environment? What are your thoughts?
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Many of you know Mr K told me to "shut your mouth" in March 2025 when we took a road trip to Alpena Michigan. Since that time, we have had lots of ups and downs but I have never intentionally hurt Mr K in anyway. And when we first started dating in 2024 he let me know, although he is an engineer by degree, he has an extremely low EQ. Overall, he is ok (not off the charts nice like other guys in...
I think due to your history counseling would be helpful along with the medication. I think a two-pronged attack to our depression so to speak is better than addressing it with medicine alone.
Here's my two cents on your depression & issues, go see a doctor. Please. It'll take you out of that state of wanting to hurt yourself, you don't wanna feel that way. You must know it deep down inside or else you wouldn't have posted on here. You need help, & someone to take your problems into consideration. It sounds to me like the medication your taking isn't working right. You need to explain your panic attacks to a professional. I can't stress this enough. You can't do this alone or you'll end up really hurting yourself & I personally don't want that for you! I hope you get better & I mean that whole heartedly. Getting therapy would be ideal in your situation. You sound like you need someone to listen to your story about where you were brought up & how you slip in and out of depression. It sounds to me like your medications never worked right if they give you migraines. That sounds like a nightmare, no wonder you're so depressed! I've taken probably all the medications under the sun for my depression & none of them gave me those issues. It just isn't normal for you to feel that bad. Maybe you need increased dosages. Whatever it is, you deserve to feel like you're trying everything you can to get better. So make those appointments, don't hesitate to talk to somebody. I'm here if you need me. Feel better. & Good luck.
I've actually wondered for a while if I had Borderline Personality Disorder. If you were looking up the symptoms and looking at a story of my life they would add up.
I really need to just suck it up and go to the doctor. I went to counseling many years ago but it just drained me emotionally and actually made me want to cut even more.
I've seemed to really hit another wall. I'm going from feeling so awful that I'm crying all the time to feeling completely numb. It actually scares me when I'm feeling numb because I'm capable of anything. I just feel a constant pain in my heart and I feel like I have no one.
Before checking this I was actually crying hysterically because I found out my stepsister was in town visiting and was going with our some of our family and didn't invite me. I felt like it was a malicious attack when it really wasn't.
shpuld consider getting more expert help. My family doc is known to be one of the best in my city, but failed miserably in helping me with
depression. As for your boyfrind thinking you're faking it I sympathize
completely. Everone in my family is on antidepressants with my brother
so serious he's had electroshock treatments . I was on 2 antidepresants and going through horrible withdrawls trying to get off of one of them and my girlfrind said " you'll never be able to stay off
of them because you're a pill freak" .My point is that people who dont
have depression dont understand it because its not a disease you can
document or see in test results. The best advice I have is dont isolate
yourself no matter how hard it is to get out . And espescially this time of year get plenty of sunlight..it matters more than you think. A really
good psychiatrist might be able to find the right combo of drugs to turn
your life around. Please have faith and keep trying.
Another thought to think about is that so what if you deal with depression all your life? Sometimes that happens but not always. The real issue for you is that you're not trying everything to get better. You have to give certain things like counseling or seeing a doctor, a chance. Maybe going to a support group in real life would help you. But along with the meds that you need & maybe just trying therapy (any type) a few times & if it doesn't work or make things worse then at least you could say you've tried. That's it. You can't let these negative thoughts get the best of you because it's not worth it. Your life is to precious to throw away.
Yes it's really hard to be around people when they think you're crazy. My boyfriend thinks I'm "hormonal" all the time and my family thinks I'm a b_____. I force myself to stay surround with people even though I wish I was alone most of the time. It's like annoying to go do things but at least it distracts me.
It's like certain times I'm really logical and can see that I'm acting werid.
first, after careful consideration my stepsister not telling me she was in town was malicious and catty. After seeing multiple facebook posts about her visit and how awesome it was seeing everyone. What is so wrong with me that she doesn't want to be near me or even try?
my boyfriend that I've been with for many years told me yesterday he doesn't know if we'll ever get married. Yet I have to keep going to all of his friend's weddings who haven't been together as long as us. he ended up telling me that that maybe we aren't a good match.
I've been spending the past few weeks imagining my life was different like a new name, a new job, a new place, and after a few hours of doing that a day when I go back to reality I'm so disappointed.
I feel so alone. I really can't handle this much pain and disappointment.
You can tell from the replies here that we take you seriously, and that we consider you a friend. I agree that medicine alone is not the answer. IN the end, all the medicines I was ever given failed me at the last. But meds and therapy can help. Thanks for being here and being one of us.