Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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papelle 03/15/2018

I really want to live my life. But I have chronic pain/illness with no firm diagnosis, no treatment and therefore no hope. It's been 10 years of worsening symptoms. This last year has been pretty terrible and the last 6 months have been unbearable. My GI specialist and urologist have told me they don't know what is wrong (other than a wishy washy diagnosis of IBS which is bullshit) and are not going to see me anymore. My Dr. is supportive but has no options. I just got the last of my test results that do not show any concrete reason for the constant pain. No pain meds help and they all make me even sicker, I have low tolerance for drugs. I am on disability leave from work which pays the bills for now but I have no life anymore. I don't go anywhere, I have had to give up all my activities that used to give me joy. I have no children or husband to live for. I know this sounds like my illness is in my head but it isn't. And the depression is a result of the illness not vice versa. I was not depressed until this last year. Before that my symptoms were manageable and I was able to live life with some limitations. Anyway, I have no hope left, life no longer has any meaning or joy in it and I have no one to keep me on this earth. I do not want to die but I cannot go on with this life. It is a terrible thing to be in constant pain and discomfort. I am so jealous of everyone who has their health. They do not realize how blessed they are. Or even those who are sick but know why and have treatment options. I wonder when I will be able to end it. I wonder at what point and what level of pain I will have to experience before I will be able to do it. I have googled the least painful ways to die a few times. It is in my plan for the future. It is a very weird thing to just be waiting for the day that you will end your own life.

thereaper922 03/16/2018

I know exactly how you feel. I’ve had chronic stomach pain my entire life and no one can figure out what’s wrong. It’s actually my first time here because it’s gotten to the point where I have a hard time functioning. I’ve always been a cheerful person but it’s hard to be that way when you feel so sick. I’ve thought about suicide a few times but talk myself out of it before I can do anything. My doctors also have some stupid IBS diagnosis which is crap. They gave me every kind of test and medication but nothing helps. I’m so sorry you are in pain as well. The only thing that calms my stomach down a little is ginger ale, but that just takes a little bit away. Again, we will be okay, just hang in there.

robotnik 03/16/2018

Have you tried a neurologist? Perhaps your brain is malfunctioning, sending out signals of pain for no pain etc? I think there's a surgical procedure whereby the nerves producing pain are severed or cut off from the brain or something like that. Also, though it may seem out there, since western medicine is not helping you perhaps you should try Chinese medicine. It may be a long shot but it's an ancient tradition and there might be something there to help you. Alternative medicine...meditation?

A book on how to live with chronic pain and illness:
https://www.amazon.com/Live-Well-Chronic-Pain-Illness/dp/1614292485

If nothing works resign yourself to God's will. He will take this cross from you at the right time. As Christians we are taught that we are not supposed to commit suicide. It's easier said than done when one is in prolonged agony or is faced with some horrific ordeal.

I'm sorry you are in such a state...I hope that you have some kind of spontaneous remission, as happens sometimes...and which totally puzzles the doctors.

Bobby5000 03/16/2018

I would check another doctor. I had a significant condition and 5 doctors could not figure it out because my symptoms were atypical, I did not for example have pain or discomfort where it would have been expected thereby excluding what turned out to be the correct diagnosis. Please try again and see if someone can figure it out and my prayers are with you. I am sure it is hard.
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Chekwas 03/16/2018

Your story touched my heart but I want to ask just two question:

1. Do you struggle with any form of addiction?
2. Ever tried to discover the purpose for your life?

You see, from personal experience and interactions and research, failure to considering the above questions can hugely alter the mind and predispose one to sicknesses of unknown cause.

Practical steps to addressing them could be the game changer assuming you find yourself defaulting in one of those.

Discovering and pursuing a purpose for one's life has helped solve the problem of depression much more than any med. Discipline and choices we make can also help.

I want to assure you that some of us where in same situation and overcame, determine you will not die and the fears will gradually fizzle out as you consciously make efforts to live better.

Avidreader9559 03/16/2018

I am so sorry your pain has caused you to lose the life you were enjoying. Is it possible you are grieving this loss in addition to the pain you are experiencing? Please be patient with yourself. I would suggest trying a different doctor. People see things differently and doctors with different experiences look for different things at times especially if it is something rare. Praying you can find someone who can help you.

mypenny2 03/16/2018

I also suggest finding a different doctor...one who is sympathetic and thorough..Could you have developed a allergy...Does your medications have any side effects..I kept having pain and I there was nothing wrong...Depression was what the doctor said...I thought depression was about being sad and crying...My worries manifested problems in my back..stomach..headaches...and feelings of dread...I hope you get answers...Your life is precious...don't give up...Hope !!....is a powerful feeling....Hugs

LouiseS 03/17/2018

It sounds like you may have a chronic Enterovirus infection. Unfortunately, only a very few doctors are aware of this so most victims are never tested or correctly diagnosed. Check out Enteroviruses .com and the Enterovirus Foundation. Don't give up

WanderingVet 03/17/2018

Since you do not believe it is psychosomatic, your only option is to find a diagnosis which means doing a LOT of doctor shopping.

If you are in the US ... perhaps your doctor will refer you to Mayo Clinic or some such research medical facility ... you need the medical profession to INTENSELY find out what is wrong.

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