I know those same feelings! I've been there soooooooooooo many times. I think those SAME things. I'm still feeling that way a little bit but am getting a little better. I just want you to know that you are NOT ALONE!

Hugs!

Why...I think because there really are extraordinary amounts of love, fun and laughter in this world.

But...

Depression is like putting a blindfold on to all those things. Worse, the blindfold has a movie screen in the back, so all we see is total CRAP. That's how I see it, at least. I hope you can get up out of that hole soon...let us help, if we can. Big hugs to ya

Depression makes one feel this way, lies to us. You're not alone with how you feel. I hope this black cloud will lift for you soon. Many feel well vibes and much peace to you. Hoping you feel better soon.

Thanks everyone.. But I just get so tired of trying.. I feel trap.. I feel that I could've done so much with my life, yet i did not and I am now trap and can't do anything.. Don't know if I would ever be able to do anything..

I am tired.. I try at times to convince myself that things will be good, eventually, that everyone goes through something in their lives.. But for how long? And everytime I try, I get pushed down even further down... I had one chance to make things better, and I blew it.. Now I am stuck.. I hate this life.. It's very unfair.,....

Why do you think you had one chance to make it better and you blew it - what would you do to make it better if you could?

When I took out the restraining order, I should've left it.. Now there is no way he would be leaving the house unless he puts the girls through some dramatic experience.. I dont want to put them through anything else.. To the girls everything is ok... I dont want them to suffer. I rather keep my pain inside...

It's so hard to be motivated when everything feels pointless. In my experience, the worst is when my efforts don't seem to produce anything. It's like I build a tower out of blocks every day, and at the end of the day it's fallen down again, so the next day is spent just building it back up. There's no net gain.

I wish I had something more positive to say, I guess I am just in the same place where everything feels like an exercise in futility and the only difference between now and the future is that more time will have passed.

I hope you can start seeing progress in your life. That does create momentum and then you have more energy. Easier said than done, but for now at least your kids are a reason to keep trying.

sounds to me like you disappoint your self more than others. I know what you mean about the kids, if it were not for my daughter and grandchildren I would have checked out a long time ago.

By the way, we can't be perfect, just do the best you can.