Ouch!!! I'm so sorry. Its 2:35 am now. Finally feel like I can sleep. Hope I don't have a panic attack.
My point in telling you that, is just because people don't answer. They still read it. They may be in a hurry or not well. Many things....
One things for sure, writing down your thoughts and day to day activities are GREAT therapy. Are you keeping a day to day journal? You should... also a great way to monitor your progress and setbacks.
Keep us posted BEFORE you hurt yourself. Its sad and painful to hear about anyone inflicting pain on themselves. I hope tomorrow brings you some relief and some smiles.

Learning every day to lean on this Internet tool, it does help me too. Usually look for positive posts that offer solutions. Dealing with too much info puts me out of focus. Gaining it now.

Musichearts, never say it don't matter. Or, you don't matter...of course you do. And, you do need to reach out for help. There is someone out there to work with you.,.like me.
I have never been a cutter. Not sure what that entails. But, I do have self-esteem issues. I look for attention in other ways.
I will not say I understand. I don't! But, I feel for you. Lets conbect.

Just because someone doesn't reply, it doesn't mean that someone is not reading. You can say anything you want and someone will be always be here to read it.

Ugh, I can completely relate. I self harmed the other night. It had been years since I did it and I feel so guilty about it now. I also feel like no one needs to hear about my problems because I feel like they are getting old. I'm sorry you relapsed. Message me anytime if you want to chat.

-C

I am sorry that you relapsed and feel the way you do. Are you receiving any professional help or therapy or counseling? You do need to talk about this. You need to tell your parents and ask them to get you some professional help if you are not getting it now. I know you feel that they are tired of hearing about it, but they don't want anything bad to happen to you. They love you and care about you and they would be devastated if something bad happened to you. You can always fee free to post on this site. We are here to listen and help if we can. You can message me if you want to.

You guys are so so sweet, thank you for your messages.
I have good coping methods, like music and stuff, but sometimes the bad ones just take over. It makes me feel awful whenever I fall back into it because I worked so hard to stay clean, plus my parents would be so heartbroken if they found out I did it again, especially since I "promised" them I'm doing better. I don't want them to have to spend money for a psychiatrist on me when we need to save a bit rn. my life isn't even close to awful.. my mind is, but that makes me feel guiltier because who the hell am I to complain when I have dogs, a house, great parents, a few good friends.. y'know? Sure, i've gone through some stuff but who hasn't? And people have gone through so much worse.. I promise I'm not an ungrateful little brat, ahah. Just a bit mentally messed up.

So sorry It sounds like you have been making progress, so please do not discount that, nor that you are worthy! You probably have heard "It's progress, not perfection." Also, you sound like you have a lot going for you, including your music, your self-awareness, and your loving parents. That is wonderful and yet it sounds like your unsure how your parents will react.

Have you considered other options? When I have relapsed, I have had success getting back on track through support groups which follow a twelve-step program, Christian counseling, journaling, and social outlets. Do you have a Young Life group in your area? Young Life is an international youth organization which offers fun activities on weekends and a "safe" environment.

Talking about it is the first step to getting back on track. I applaud you. And please know you are worthy and it's progress not perfection. Praying for you tonight.