Much of the time before you can love yourself, there's forgiveness and absolution that needs to happen. Forgiveness for bad decisions, doing things you shouldn't have, etc. Once you forgive yourself and put all the bad things away, locked away in a box where they belong, then you can start to love yourself.

Look in the mirror tell yourself you forgive you for any and all things that put you in the space your in, then really look at that person in the mirror and tell her how things will be from this time on. Tell her positive thoughts will come before negative ones, tell her she's pretty enough, good enough, smart enough to be worthy of your love. And then you start living the new life. It's not easy and it takes some time and some long talks with yourself, but you can do it.

Take care,

Good post & good answer. I don't know why we are so hard on ourselves.

I think loving oneself as a phrase could be confusing. Love is a verb involving being fair, trusting, having respect for and generally taking care of the object of love. So to take it as an active verb, it's saying 'be fair on yourself'. Treat yourself like you would want to be treated. :D Don't be down on yourself. don't be judgmental, or rude to yourself. Have a care.

But there's more to it. You may have done things in teh past that are dumb - you have to accept that you have done them. Accept that what you are IS what a human is. What you have done is part of the human condition. Accept your own humanity and by so doing you will find you accept other people's humanity too. You make mistakes. You're not perfect. This should not come as a surprise so just take them as part of the deal, feel stupid, and then stop feeling stupid. Don't carry baggage about yourself. If you remember something that makes you feel awful stop - attend to it, remember it. feel bad about it - and then accept it, realise that it's normal, and everyone has done it, and then move on.

I think it's about leaving your past behind and letting yourself have done things that were not good ideas. And understanding that everyone does this, and nobody else beats themselves up. So maybe you shouldn't either.

Live & let live. that's what loving yourself is about.