Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I realize I do not tend to post on the boards a lot because usually I don't have much in the way of intelligent stuff to say. But today, this really has to come out.
So, I just finished the fall semester a couple of weeks ago...and...well, I'm not very happy about it. Virtually everything that could go wrong did: I couldn't manage my stress level juggling both my part-time job and classes (why did I come up with that idea?), my chemistry labs were disasters because I didn't have even an ounce of trust in my lab partners...and those are just the ones I want to mention here.
In particular, I know one of my grades was gifted to me because the professor was so out of touch he didn't even stick to the department grading policy; he blew off those labs when they should have counted against me and that's how I got an A- in a course where I should have gotten at best a B- or probably a little worse than that.
Somehow I managed to clear all my courses in spite of my really bad fall-apart episodes (I won't lie; a bunch of assignments got by me because once my heart gives out I have a whale of a time getting my motivation back). But it does not feel like I cleared them nearly as much as I survived them.
A friend has suggested I start an achievement journal over this break before the spring semester starts. I love the idea...but it's getting nowhere so far. Nothing feels like an achievement so far, it's only feeling like something that needed to be done.
I'm starting to remember a time between the time I spent as an accountant and the path I'm on now where for about two months I had a bunch of days where I basically did nothing but lie in bed, wondering what the point of it all was since I can't seem to see the good in anything. I'm starting to fear that this is going to come back if I can't learn to prop myself up soon.
I'm not feeling suicidal but I'm also getting really tired of having this black cloud hovering over me that can't see the good in anything that I do...can you guys help? Please?
So, I just finished the fall semester a couple of weeks ago...and...well, I'm not very happy about it. Virtually everything that could go wrong did: I couldn't manage my stress level juggling both my part-time job and classes (why did I come up with that idea?), my chemistry labs were disasters because I didn't have even an ounce of trust in my lab partners...and those are just the ones I want to mention here.
In particular, I know one of my grades was gifted to me because the professor was so out of touch he didn't even stick to the department grading policy; he blew off those labs when they should have counted against me and that's how I got an A- in a course where I should have gotten at best a B- or probably a little worse than that.
Somehow I managed to clear all my courses in spite of my really bad fall-apart episodes (I won't lie; a bunch of assignments got by me because once my heart gives out I have a whale of a time getting my motivation back). But it does not feel like I cleared them nearly as much as I survived them.
A friend has suggested I start an achievement journal over this break before the spring semester starts. I love the idea...but it's getting nowhere so far. Nothing feels like an achievement so far, it's only feeling like something that needed to be done.
I'm starting to remember a time between the time I spent as an accountant and the path I'm on now where for about two months I had a bunch of days where I basically did nothing but lie in bed, wondering what the point of it all was since I can't seem to see the good in anything. I'm starting to fear that this is going to come back if I can't learn to prop myself up soon.
I'm not feeling suicidal but I'm also getting really tired of having this black cloud hovering over me that can't see the good in anything that I do...can you guys help? Please?
The journal sounds like a great idea.
Since you mentioned that nothing feels like an achievement...how about you try to write things down that you think might be achievements if you had a different frame of mind? If you want you can run them by me even, I'd be happy to help. Or you could do what I do on really bad days...every single tiny thing I need to do that day...I mean as tiny as brushing my teeth...go on a list. That way, if I start to feel that "i'm a loser who has accomplished NOTHING' feeling, at least I can say no, shut the fuck up, I did something. Granted it's a tiny little something lol, but it's better than nothing. Because there've been days wehre I've done literally nothing, teeth-brushing included (gross, i know lol).
So yeah, I suppose that's my idea...all about the baby steps! Wishing you peace
We may have too High expectations of ourselves and don't see value even in the smallest of things that we may have achieved. Or we are perfectionists. I think that's my problem.
I think it's good to start at the basic. It's an achievement that you are actually are IN school and taking these classes. It's an achievement that you got through your classes and passed them. Hey you passed them.
You are doing fine and I think it's good you have a friend who suggested the journal to you.
Maybe it's an achievement that you got up in the morning....
I don't know but you got to start somewhere to pat yourself on the back.
For me it really is an achievement that I got my dishwasher loaded and my laundry done.
I would love to say that I'm in school, work and do it all but I can't so I am learning to see the successes in my life even if it's something as simple as doing my house work.
Start with the basics. maybe that will help.
Did you get any awards when you were in elementary school? Middle school, sports, music. Any kind of certificate or recognition? Count EVERY single one.
I count that I passed my driving test.
Count everything.
And I am sure your journal will begin to fill up.
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