messed up on grammer, not selling soul to THEM to them feel better. After thinking about it, it's probably cause mom called to find out if my 16 year old was going to church and I was saying to her with mouth but not making noise" Do you WANT to go" and I did that twice and I think my mom sensed what I was saying by phone, but I know how they act and how horrible they make you feel if your vunerable to them, and my daughter is, if you don't want to go to church with them.

sorry to keep adding more stuff, but why is it such a big deal, why do they take it so personal if I don't want to be around them when they are doing the church thing? I DONT AGREE WITH THEM. Wow, I just guess their lives are over now, like they are just going to lay down and die now. GOD I HATE WHEN THEY ACT LIKE THIS.

Religion or spirituality, or lack thereof, cuts right to the very core of who we are! She simply doesn't feel comfortable setting foot in your home, a home she feels is occupied by a "sinner", and doesn't want to make eye contact with a person she feels is a "demon" going to "hell". You didn't say what religion she is. I'm assuming she's Christian, Baptist maybe? They tend to be VERY strict and regimented. "It's my way or the highway...to hell."

Just live your life the best you can, in a loving, helpful way, and hopefully your example will illustrate to her that not everyone who doesn't follow her narrow religious dogma is going to "hell".

Assuming she's a Christian, if she really practiced what she preached, she'd embrace you with love, not condemn you, because Jesus preached "love thy enemies". Even Jesus walked into brothels and lepor colonies healing people and absolving them of their sins.

Tell your mom that her guilt trip isn't going to work on you and that you don't believe in the things she believes in. Tell her you'll take your chances and live your life the way you think is right, not according to a lot of judgemental dogma. And if she doesn't like it, then she can deal with it in her own way without pulling you in to her emotions.

It sounds like things go OK when you visit them, so is there something about your house that they do not like? A lot of older people get very set in their ways, so if your furniture flow is not like theirs, that may make her uncomfortable. (And that is her problem not yours!)

Also, how old is your mom.

The funny thing about family is, when you are with them as a child, you mesh with them because you want to make them proud of you, cause you always seek acceptance when your a child. But when you are coming of age, you rebel against your family because you are learning to be yourself.

Many parents consider this teenage rebelling to be a negative thing where as I do not. I have always preached that being yourself is the best policy. Be true to yourself, love what you do, and love yourself. Its the key to happiness. Becoming a robot to make others happy, will not make you happy.

If your mother can not accept her own daughter for who she is, then maybe its time for you guys to be apart. You have to leave the nest sometime. The hardest thing for any of us to do is to leave the nest mentally. We leave is psychically but are still attached to our mothers emotionally.

Eventually we have to learn to be our own person, to be our own parent, and to learn to guide ourselves, rather then be guided by somebody else. I also agree with what has been said here, Jesus said to love thy neighbor. If she can't even love her own daughter, there is something wrong there.

A lot of times parents tend to hate it when their children do not become the person they wanted them to be. They forget that this is about their children, not about them! And when she visits your house, its a constant reminder of how you didn't follow her in her footsteps.

Stop trying to live up to her expectations, that will never happen! Again, be yourself, be true to yourself, love who you are, and love yourself, and overall, just be happy. You have achieved what many other's have failed to do. Think about all those folks who still live with mommy and there 40!

Be greatful for what you have, I personally think you have done great for yourself. Please see that in yourself, your an amazing person sweety. Huggs & Cuddles :)

Ashley

You don't give any reason for why you think this has anything to do with religion. Is it possible that it has nothing to do with you at all and she just feels more comfortable in her own home?