i feel depressed. i am tired of trying so hard, and getting nowhere. My house was burglarized AGAIN Thursday afternoon. for the 2nd time. The cops say it doesnt matter what you do, because if the burglar wants in, he'll get in. I hate where i live because i am in a bad neighborhood, but i feel trapped because of the terrible housing market. My ebay bussiness totally flopped this christmas so i have to get a home equity loan to pay off the $80,000 of debts. My house is now a storage wherehouse for all this shit i cant sell, and everything is a mess. My kitchen has a dead rat/mouse behind the counter, but i cant get to it, unless i take all my cabinets out, which is 2 days of work. My friend says the smell wil go away, but its been 3 weeks and it still wreaks. I am the heaviest i have ever been in my life at 210lbs, and cant stop eating. i want to be in a relationship, but have not been able to find anyone. I will be 40 years old next year and i have never been in a relationship in my life. i have two friends that are wrapped up in there own problems and dont seem to care, even when i ask them for help. I am in the process of leaving my job of 6 1/2 years, and starting a new one, which is scary. And my father is coming to visit me next week, which i really dont want, but feel obligated to do. i have ebay sales to mail out, and bills to pay, but i am too depressed to do anything. i feel so overwhelmed and depressed I want to go to sleep and hibernate, and not wake up. Its been a long time since i have felt this depressed. I am tired of fighting.