here is the reason...

you have been married to an obviously wonderful woman (who else puts up with someone who speaks without verbs and carries a sword twice their size?) for TEN years...

that's pretty exciting!

as for the disney world thing, if i had plans to go and i couldn't, i'd be sad... but that's just me...

Right now, she doesn't even want to leave the freakin' house. This is the house I grew up in. I am effin SICK of this place.

She has borderline, bipolar, ptsd, eating disorders, and a rapidly worsening agoraphobia. Some days it's just too much to take.

i know... i'm sorry... i was like that for about 6 months during my last bad cycle and for about 4 months this time around... i don't know what your wife is going through, but FOR ME, it was hell to leave the house - it was hell some days to leave the room...

i know this should be an exciting day for BOTH of you, anything you can maybe do at home?

I am sorry...this sounds very disheartening. Does she have a desire to make anniversary plans at all?

Hoping some peace for you. {{{{hugs}}}}

She's asking why it's so important that we leave the house. She's talking about finding some sand on Lake Erie. Sigh.

Having our expectations dashed and ruined is a terrible thing. Cancelling trips we hoped would bring us closer is a huge drag.

But maybe going to get sand from the Lake is exactly what she needs for you to do for her...doing it together....might be just what the doctor ordered....

but that's the thing al, when i get in that state of mind, i truly can't understand why it is important for anyone to leave the house because it feels TO ME like there is nothing to go outside for...

looking back on both those episodes, i see how horribly unfair i was being to my partner - so i understand how you feel... at least i had my own misery to escape into, he had nothing but frustration...

i don't know how much you want to push this, but my partner MADE me go outside once a day, even if it was just to the market... and each time i went outside, he would tell me how proud he was of me and acknowledge that FOR ME it was a difficult thing to do...

it's not that i didn't just want to go outside, but i was too afraid to go outside... i was afraid everyone was going to hurt me or that people were staring at me and everyone somehow "knew" all of my crap... (does that make sense - i know i'm rambling a bit here)

I can't spell the name above me, but I think that they are right!

I am so sorry for you, you both must be going through so much at the moment. And it horrible to build things up and be dissapointed.

I know this may sound uncaring, I really don't mean it to, but your anniversy is just a day on the calender, you can always go another time soon when you both will enjoy it and have a far better time than if it were forced now.

I hope whatever you decide to do, you can have an amazing time.

sorry was referring to the one now two above, but also agree with one above now.

my ex got me a harry potter book for our 10th anniversary.

and it wasn't even hard-back. jerk.

i'll go to disney world with you :)

I've been forced to find much joy in just the little things, so much over the past few years. A walk on the beach would be big doings, down my way. I see both sides so well.

(And James, you can call me Azure, everyone does....)

Hugs, Alph.

don't talk to him azure..........


i'm afraid you're going to love him more than me in about 2 hours....

Huggins, I think the point of getting excited about things is because we're human

The "little" things like trips and vacations are the distractions that make life more bearable. It is natural to be upset that something you were looking forward to has been cancelled. I'm sorry to hear it.

I guess as some have suggested, turning lemons into lemonade by planning something else might work. If you did go to the lake, perhaps she can spend more time in the hotel/motel room while you enjoy a nice walk or something?

You should talk to my husband Alph. I haven't been anywhere with him for 6 - 7 years now.
He has tried everything to get me out of the house but I can't. It terrifies me. It hurts me to see him having to go out for a meal with the kids and leave me at home.
He takes our dog to the beach alone.
Last year today, I couldn't go on any longer with my own pain and his, when he went out I O.D'd.
To see his face when I came round in hospital made me realise how much he loves me, how much I need him and my children(grown ups)
I don't know the answer Alph, but I see both sides of this too.
What about a short break not far from home but a little bit of luxury. She might feel safer if she knew it ws only a short stay and could get home fast if she needed to?
Niki
(hugs)