So sorry for your suffering. At your age I suffered, too, but I was not as smart as you. I did not seek a medical opinion and I also did not seek God. All my life thoguh I've had one person tell me "A" and then the next person tells me "B." I'm not an alcoholic, but I've heard that in AA there's a saying, "Take what you like and leave the rest." The church gives you a community to worship with, while the dr. diagnoses your medical/psychological condition. If the two don't see eye to eye, IMHO stop bringing it up and just take all the goodness and help you can get. I'm a Christian and I take meds and I don't see a contradiction. May God bless your day.

I think your church people does not have enough knowlege to understand your situation. You might need to find some people who know more things. I think my friends cannot understand my problems. I need to talk to some wise.

I had an ex with borderline personality disorder, I feel bad that you have to deal with that.

Hi! Sorry your life was hell. I know quite a lot about hellish childhoods, had one of those myself. I know quite a lot about cutting, been doing it for 30 years, not so much these days. I'm BiPolar so I know about Depression. So, here's the deal, going to the Dr. was great, it's great that you decided to take care of yourself.....but kiddo, don't stop now. You need to be seeing a Therapist, not going to church. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for God, Faith, Religion, they are all a big part of my life, Church not so much. Organized religion I don't do anymore, it's too judgemental, too harsh, too labeling, too everything. I don't need people telling me how unimportant I am or how wrong what I did to survive was, etc.

A Therapist will help you learn how to cope with what you've been through, they'll teach you healthy new coping skills. Self harm, cutting is a Learned Behavior, so it can be replaced with other healthy behaviors. A Therapist will help you learn ways to deal with all of the emotions and feelings and stuff thats in your head.

You can survive this and be the awesome young woman you are with a great future. What you were put through does not have to define you. Its hard work, I won't even joke about that, but you can do it, you can get your life back, and you can make a future for yourself that will be what you want it to be. I know this because I have 2 awesome son's who are wonderful caring, compassionate human beings who love their community, love to help others and make me so proud....the many times I planned my own death to escape the hell I lived in, I never pictured that in my future.

So, you can make it through this. Don't add extra stress to yourself, you don't have anything to prove to people in your Church. God does not require you to be in a Church for his love, "where 2 or more are gathered, I will be there" was what he said about those who worshipped him.

Take care, find a Therapist, if you can't afford a private Dr. or don't have Insurance, call your County or Cities Social Services and ask about Mental Health Services.

Kat

Many people especially Christians (I am a Christian) say "if you have enough faith or no sin in your life then you wouldn't be having such a hard time". That is bologna........it is a chemical imbalance in the brain, its a disease that needs to be treated just like diabetes or a heart condition. As Christians we sometimes shot the wounded and judge people not quite like us. I am blessed with a church that does the opposite, you come just as you are and we will help you in anyway possible. Find another church where the Preacher & members are a forgiving church and non judgmental One that is filled with members your age that can relate to you. Don't leave the church because of people, we don't go for those people.........we go because we want a closer relationship with God. He loves you and knows your heart and he knows the hearts of those people who are filling your head with garbage. Get into counseling or a support group to get the tools you need to help you. Praying for you to find a church full of Grace.

I was just talking today to my son's pastoral counselor about how our church is NOT about religion.
I am always amazed at the work my son has done with this woman and how the issue of faith is not the main focus. She is all about loving others and that is the kind of church you need to find for yourself.