Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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angelite 04/05/2008

what is the point in being honest when no one takes you seriously? i have been telling my boyfriend for the past 2 months we need to be careful with money while i was out of work, yet he continued spending money on unnecessary things and reassuring me we will be fine.

i have told him for the past 2 weeks that i did not have the money for bills this month.... no employment, unemployment benefits are being fought and awaiting my hearing..... that means no income for me right now! yes, i did just start a new job, but i haven't seen a paycheck from it yet. and 2 weeks ago i had no clue i would have this job right now anyway.

i am so angry because he seems to blame me for our money problems right now all of a sudden, when i have been the one worrying and being careful about it. he would complain when i went to the store to buy groceries (we have to eat!!! and he eats more of it than i do actually) yet he could go get fast food every other day and go drinking with his buddies.

ARGH!!!!!!

deleted_user 04/05/2008

so sorry..men can be such spenders i hope things get better

deleted_user 04/05/2008

Hugs angel.

Some folks just can't handle money.

Sometimes people find it easier to put blame on someone else's shoulders rather than accepting responsibilities for their actions.

I hope you have a separate account for yourself.

deleted_user 04/05/2008

Sorry for your stress. Does he have a job to help pay those bills? Hope things start to work out for you *hugs*

deleted_user 04/05/2008

Yes. do make sure to take care of yourself, even if it means saving just a little each check or whatever. ((((hugs))))

angelite 04/05/2008

$300 for a new car stereo. $80 on stuff to wash his truck (that he has yet to even use). i had to talk him out of paying $500 for a new phone right now.

he gave me a massage certificate for my birthday, i knew the massage therapist and talked her into letting me cash it in and get the money back because i was so desperate for money for bills.

i wanted to buy a bed so we could quit sleeping on the floor with my tax refund money, but had to spend all that on bills due to circumstances.... and he was getting mad that i even considered spending that money.....

hmmm... what's more important.... a bed to sleep in or a $300 stereo or a $500 phone, or $80 for soap to wash your car?

angelite 04/05/2008

we've always had separate accounts, and basically split everything in half, but once i lost my job we agreed to work together and be more conservative with money until things improved.

apparently the reality of no income coming in from me finally hit him.... i have been telling him all along.

Alphonsus 04/05/2008

I grew up in a comfortable, middle class family and got a decent job right away. It can be hard to wrap one's head around being financially strapped if you've never experienced it before. I had to get used to it really quick after my wife had her breakdown.

deleted_user 04/05/2008

Can you talk him in to returning the stuff?

angelite 04/05/2008

he could maybe return the cleaning stuff if he has the receipt, but the stereo is already installed in his car.

it just more hurts that he seems to be blaming me for this. where is his reassurance now?

deleted_user 04/05/2008

Ask him to give you specifics for why he thinks this is your fault.

deleted_user 04/05/2008

Wow.. he is some kind of irresponsible with money. I feel your pain in the bed department, I had to sleep on the couch, air beds, floor, etc. for a year and it was no fun.

How long have you been with this guy? If you sit down and have a good long talk with him about it, how will he react?

angelite 04/05/2008

things are starting to look up, so i wasn;t as worried as usual for once... i just got a great new job (can't wait for that first pay check), and my unemployment hearing is tuesday... i am pretty confident it will be in my favor and that would be 2 months worth of owed money... so why all of sudden ruin my good mood i've been in lately..... being happy is a dream i guess.

deleted_user 04/05/2008

A dream is a wish your heart makes, Angel (quote by Walt Disney).

angelite 04/05/2008

been with him for 2 years. we've talked about money before. i used to think he was more responsible, since he never bought anything unless he had cash for it... no debt. i on the other hand have student loans, credit card bills (to buy book for school), car payments... but i have come to realize that though i am in debt, at least i have credit and a more responsible mindset for how to handle my money.

deleted_user 04/05/2008

You are dealing with an immature male. My daughter has dealt with this. She took over the funds and told him what they had money for. If he won't listen to reason make him pay for all his expenses only contribute your share of the rent, utilities and food.

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