I don't know how to help you find something to look forward to again. Maybe just trying your hand at things, just try to see if there is something out there that you still like to do. Big Hugs!! Wish I could be more helpful for you.

This may be of no help to you but I feel the same way. (and I like all the same things!)
I am just petting my kitty because it is the one thing I can do right now that makes me smile. Do you have a kitty to pet? I promise it will help! He doesn't care that I am not married, successful and feel empty and meaningless sometimes.

I hear you : )

You and I are in the same boat. The only thing I am looking forward to is school starting next month, and that's only because being an EMT is so much of my identity. Other than that, and some confused urge to ramble on here, I don't find much motivation in anything. I wish I had better news for you, but all I can say is I know what you mean.

Annie

I can really relate to what you're saying. I have forced myself to go to meetup groups just to see if something interests me. Maybe just getting out there and doing will lead to feeling things again. At least that's what I'm hoping for. If I can help in any way please let me know.

just be.

ONLY from that state can purpose grow, if at all.

Thanks everyone for replying.

I think one of the things we need to re-learn when we are depressed is that sometimes we are more capable of enjoying and valuing things than we think we are. Some of you hinted at that in your replies. Sometimes after trying doing something you haven't done in a while, you realize that it still brings you joy, even if not as much as before.

Other times you discover things you didn't realize you could enjoy. Just trying different things and pushing yourself to do in spite of low or no motivation is a good way to relearn to experience joy in life.

And then I think we also underestimate the degree of joy we do experience because we focus on what we think we should have been and should have achieved to be joyful and have a sense of purpose. I think going to school to be an EMT is great. It means in spite of depression, you find it in yourself to learn, to be better, to help others. To me that has purpose and meaning and I can't imagine you doing it and not getting at least a little satisfaction from achieving your goal and from helping someone who would maybe be dead or handicapped without your help.

Petting your kitty is great too. In our depression we may see it as an insignificant thing, but there is nothing insignificant about giving and receiving affection or appreciating animals and living things or understanding the meaning of unconditional love.

Like mrome said, sometimes we just have to "be". Let go of expectations and re-learn baby step after baby step how to find meaning and joy again. It is indeed a relearning process because depression and emotional turmoil can leave us so drained that we become emotionally numb. Regaining emotion is a process and it takes effort.

I'm starting a therapy called "behavioral activation". Research shows it can improve mood as much as meds over a course of several weeks. It consists of clarifying and remembering our values in life: what we find pleasurable and important. The next step is to very gradually incorporate activities into our life that emphasize those values.

My therapist says it can work even with severe depression. It is like relearning to find purpose and joy by practicing it every day, even if just a little bit. Seeing yourself behave like a non-depressed person, even if it's just for an hour every day, can have a great effect on your mood.

All the best to all of you,