Go for a long engagement in order to give you time to think more clearly about marriage.

get out if it is bad and fights are bad....no violence to anyone in any marriage is good and even fights that are verbal are abuse....get out...do not marry him....he is not the man for you

Food for thought...if you're fighting a lot now, then why would you think marriage is the solution? Why is it suddenly now he's going to propose? Think. You're a smart girl! You just don't give yourself enough credit. When a couple gets engaged aren't they supposed to be walking on clouds? May I recommend a book for you to read? It's called Women who love too much.

Toshi, I've been reading all your posts recently and I think you have a lot of things to think about. You don't need to rush into this. You need to work on the drinking and give an honest assessment of your relationship. Good luck

You guys need some tools for how to have disputes and conflicts, and yet get resolution and a way forward. Having arguments can be so incredibly stressful everyone just ends up shouting, or running away, because it's too much stress and they freak out.

Learning how to come at issues, and how to move through them SLOWLY so that nobody freaks out, is important. Learning how to raise the issue and everyone goes away and just has a think, and then the other person comes back and says something... that helps.

Fights escalating terrify all parties and make them panic. Look at how your parents solved problems. Did they even solve problems? Look at how your boyfriend's parents solved problems. Did they solve problems?

There are courses you can go on. There is couples counselling to teach each of you how to get the best out of each other. If you two want to marry, and love each other, you HAVE TO DO THIS because (a) you two are crashing and burning right now and (b) even people who aren't should go on them. I learned more at work TED talks after my marriage ended about how to communicate in a marriage than I ever did anywhere else.

If I'd known all that stuff, and hubby had known all that stuff, we might still be together.

Remember it's not the boyfriend you hate, it's the panic and the frustration and not knowing how to communicate when you have an issue. Those are much smaller problems and they are fixable, if you two are committed enough to doing it.

Sounds messed up leave him things are bad so he wants to get married. Like that's going to help if you weren't happy before he asked you why would you be happy now that he's asked you. Is that really what you want.