I understand the pain you feel. Trust me when I say this: it’ll all get better soon, and soon, you’ll appreciate truly knowing your talented yet imperfect self. It will get better. I can’t promise that it’ll be like your best dreams and fantasies in LalaLand. You WILL face horrible things altogether, but remember: we’re here for you and this support group is here for you. Hope you get well soon!

@WhateverPopPop how does it get all better? Right now i can not see the pot of gold at the end of this monochromatic rainbow... i just want the pain to go away...

It gets better with time, putting in effort (e.g. journalling), self-discipline, learning to understand yourself, taking meds if you need to (and finding the right combination of meds and/or therapist), doing the practical things to survive, having a laugh when you really need one, not feeling sorry for yourself, focussing on others more than yourself (not dwelling on the negative, looking for positive things, appreciating whatever good things are in your life, learning to value your own worth, and basically learning how to love and be loved.

What have you done that has been right. You are alive and have consciousness and that is an achievement. Maybe it is time to get back to the basics. Appreciate that you are warm and well fed and build on those things.

@bornconfused I apologize if I sound sort of rude or harsh, but you'll get absolutely nothing from simply HOPING for gold. You have to try. You started off well, having a “monochromatic rainbow” to begin with. You can choose to overcome obstacles on the rainbow to earn even a single meaningful coin, or do nothing as your death awaits you. We all make mistakes. Our society tends to ruin our lives. Despite your mountains of flaws (also implying that others, including myself have flaws), it is worth the pain. Gosh, being optimistic feels almost impossible in the 21st century...but just because you MAKE mistakes doesn't mean you ARE one.