I think what you are saying is so important to be replied to i'm doing it on my phone on the train, which makes me nauseous. . . So please forgive any crazy autocorrect.

We are raised to block self pity. The glad game! It is terrible to do this. If you feel grief, you should grieve. If you are hurt by loss, you should cry. Who is to say who should not cry?

You can't compare pain to others. You can however experience, express and accept your own.

It's not a competition.

Xx if you're hurting it's okay to come here. We would be woefully brutalised if we demanded more pain or no comfort!

Bridgie beat me to it. I was also going to say this is not a competition.
Pain is pain. It all needs to be addressed.

I didn't realize this would come across as me thinking it's all a competition. I wonder if it was a subconscious thing, maybe I should do a little internal searching to see if I really think that...I just feel so petty. I've been depressed for as long as I can remember, it's not just grief. That definitely contributes, but it's not the whole story. Of course, I do have a family history of depression, I suppose being predisposed to it doesn't help anything.

I think you misinterpreted the word competition. I too find myself coming here and seeing people who unfortunately are in a lot more pain than I am. But that doesn't mean that MY pain doesn't exist or that it is not worth people on here trying to help me because others are hurting worse. Pain is pain. Depression is depression. Loneliness is loneliness. It's all the same-just to varying degrees.

Me too.

Some days I need help and others I can help people help themselves. Frequently meet people that I cannot help and I hope they later appreciate that I tried. Self pity is debilitating and I use it as flag that I need to change my current behavior.

I have little, make that no, sympathy for the real housewives of Cardassian City. (Or what ever, I think you get my drift.)

But I do have a lot of sympathy for people here. Some of us have issues that appear to be large, others have issues that appear to be small. But there is one thing I hold true: if our issues are standing in the way of us enjoying our life then they are important.

The President of the US (love him or hate him) has a lot on his plate, and I admire him for facing it. (I may not like how he deals with it, but that is another story! he he he) No way could I handle that load. But that does not mean that our problems are insignificant and not worth bothering people with.

Quite the contrary! If our issues stand in the way of our quality of life then by all means we need to work through them! There are enough of us here so that almost anybody can find a person who is dealing with the same (or very similar) issues. That is what we excel at here!

I can't fix a person's problems that come from procrastination, but I can sure identify with them and share what works and does not work for me.

But other issues I'm clueless on and all I can do is offer compassion.


I do know one thing: the daemons of depression love to bundle our issues up into one mass that feels unsolvable. So turn the tables on those daemons! Open up the windows and expose them to the light of day. Separate your issues and deal with them each in their own way.

Please consider joining the Bereavement group (you can find a link there on my profile!) for support for your brother's passing if that is still bothering you. (There is no such thing as a one size fits all bereavement program.)

There are support groups here for dealing with weight and fitness issues. (You can find a link for weight issues in my profile, I struggle with weight loss too.)

Please, never hide from life!

Join the Club, Honey!

I feel like I've missed the boat from time to time, but I now realise that I have achieved quite an awful lot getting out of my comfort zone. :)

Your problems are just as real as anyone else's and you are just as deserving of support. You also can contribute by offering some kind words. You don't have to be in the same boat to help someone. :)

I, for one, appreciate all of you for even commenting on my posts. It's good to know that I'm not alone, that's why I joined. I've never received a negative or rude comment, and I get enough of those from myself, so I appreciate that as well. I know I have a long way to go to actually feel decent, let alone good.

From what I"ve read of the comments you give to others, you're so supportive and positive. There is not one thing wrong for you to reach out and ask for support as well! I have a friend who said something many years ago that has stuck with me: comparative pain isn't helpful to anyone. Don't compare your pain or your problems to anyone else's. We are all struggling in our own way and all of it is valid, including yours! (((hugs)))