That would do absolutely no good, Hon. It would only create more problems. I'm sorry you're having a bad day. I'm here if you'd like to talk.

I know how you feel SummahRocks. But don't start. It's really easy to start but hard to end. I didn't cut or anything like that but I bruised. It did everything I wanted it to at the time, gave me something to feel. But when I wanted to stop I couldn't. I still have the urges and I have the urge to do it right now because I want to feel something other than sadness. And also it was my way of punishing myself for feeling the way I did.

The bruising escalated till I smacked a light signal pole as hard as I could. Amazingly enough, I didn't break my hand. It hurt pretty bad. I went to urgent care the next day (I hate hospitals and my dr doesn't understand I know my own body) they said it wasn't broken just badly sprained. They said to come in if it doesn't stop hurting. I went back in and I ended up having my 4th surgery on my right side. I am going in for my 6th on my right side and 7th all together. Not for the hand

Thanks guys. I won't start. I don't want to start and then be unable to stop

Thanks guys. I won't start. I don't want to start and then be unable to stop

You are welcome. Don't give up ok?

I will never give up.

I am sorry you are struggling. Can you share what is going on in your life that has given you the urge to cut. I know you can stay strong and not cut. Cutting is addicting so it so important that you don't start. Do you have alternatives? I find jogging, exercising, talking with a friend, reaching out on this forum (like you did), listening to uplifting music, journaling your thoughts, and praying are all alternatives. The most important thing is find a way to get out those feelings and hurts in a healthy way. You will be in my prayers. Please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing. I hope you are having a better day too. Hugs to you!

I pray, listen to music, write in a journal and in my novel (since I'm a writer), read and watch television. None of these are helping much right now. I think my biggest issue is that I'm nervous about meeting a therapist for the first time in exactly two weeks.

This urge is off and now. I don't know what to do to make it go away. I won't do anything though

I am glad you pray. listen to music, and write in a journal and in your novel. What is your novel about? Reading is great and TV as long as they are uplifting shows. I understand about meeting your therapist for the first time can be scary, but remember they are there to help you feel better. You are going to the therapist for help and support and to learn strategies. Letting go of the fear will help you heal. We tend to worry about things out of our control and drive ourselves crazy. Try not to think about the meeting, try to redirect your thoughts to other things, and then when the meeting day comes just be open and share why you are seeing the therapist. I will be praying for you. I know God will give you the strength you need for this meeting and I also pray that you will have peace and not stress for the next two weeks until the meeting. Please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing. Hugs and Blessings!

I'm doing fine. My big issue right now is try not to self harm again and focus only on writing my novel which is about a girl falling in love in a mental health institution. My other big issue is I can't watch ANYTHING with spiders on it. I have arachnophobia and this year it's worse than ever before. Probably something I'll mention when I meet my therapist.

Summah I am proud of you for staying strong. And I am pleased to read that you will never give up.

Yes, do NOT harm yourself. Yes, tell therapist about phobia and everything else. Go out and do something nice for someone ... like help 'em load their groceries in their car. Will do much more for you than cutting.

So true, wandering. But is a phobia of spiders really worth telling a therapist about?

Yes it is. Tell a therapist anything that bothers you. It is their job to listen and if they like their job and care ( most do) they will want to listen