Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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AprilStar 12/29/2009

I feel like I'm just saying the same things over and over again, but how much longer can this go on? How much more until I finally give in? How much more do I have to endure? I can't fight this depression anymore, don't have the strength to climb out of this black hole. Just waiting now. Waiting for it to completely take over my life until there is nothing left of me. Waiting until whatever this is that is stopping me from killing myself finally lets go. Waiting until I can give in to these thoughts and end my life. How much longer?

deleted_user 12/29/2009

I am not worth much tonight as far as advice goes, but I can say this: you posted here b/c somewhere inside of you there is a spirit that is still fighting to live. You are worth it.

deleted_user 12/29/2009

First, are you on meds and under a physician's care April?

Secondly, to me sometimes depression can be like being in a small boat caught in the wake of a larger vessel. You need to turn your boat into the waves, hold on tight, and ride them out.

Take things one at a time, and talk to your doctor/therapist.

I hope this feeling lifts for you soon.

deleted_user 12/29/2009

hon - you're not alone in saying the same thing over and over again... when my depression gets really bad i might as well just tape myself the first time i call my friends and just play the tape over and over, it would be more interesting than actually talking to them... the fact that you are getting up each day and posting on the forum tells me that YOU ARE FIGHTING THIS THING!!! it may not seem that way to you, but you are...

AprilStar 12/29/2009

Yes, I'm on meds and have a dr.
But it seems like I've been feeling this way forever and it will never end.

deleted_user 12/29/2009

sometimes when i go into my major depressive episode i tell myself that i did it before and i can do it again... i don't necessarily believe myself because each time i go into the dark place, it feels like i'm never going to get out... a few months ago, i didn't believe it - now i'm believing it a bit. the next time i go into my major depressive episode i'm sure i won't believe it will end... but when i rationally think about it, i do make it through every time...

AprilStar 12/29/2009

There is no end to this. And there never will be until this life is over. It has to end. I really can't live like this anymore.

deleted_user 12/29/2009

but hon, you are living... maybe not the way you want to - and more importantly, there may not be an "end" but there is a "better" - you just have to fight and claw yourself there...

AprilStar 12/29/2009

I can't. I can't do this anymore . . . it's just too much . . . :'(

deleted_user 12/29/2009

but hon, you ARE doing it... it might seem like you're not, but you are - and that takes a tremendous amount of strenght...

you might have to live hour by hour (yes, i've been there to tell myself i only have to get to 5 o'clock... stuff like that). maybe minute by minute - but you are doing it...

and yes, it is too much... how much can life ask one person to suffer? but think about this, how many more will suffer if you give up?

AprilStar 12/29/2009

The only way I'm doing it now is by knowing everything will soon be over. Only one more day of this horrible life, and then I'm done.
And no one will suffer. The world will be better off without me.

deleted_user 12/29/2009

no hon. the world won't be better off without you...

tell yourself each day that you only have to get through today - then just force yourself to do it again and again until things do get better...

who knows what you are going to contribute in the future - what if you give birth to or help raise the child who will cure cancer? what if?

AprilStar 12/29/2009

There is no what if. I'm done. It will all be over tomorrow.

deleted_user 12/29/2009

hon - you need to call someone NOW. call 911 if you have to...

call the suicide hotline if you have to...

1-800-273-TALK (8255)

really hon - CALL SOMEONE!!!!!!

AprilStar 12/29/2009

why?

deleted_user 12/29/2009

because...

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