I understand the problem all too well.....I have a gun safe....it is my own house and I live alone....but I got the gun safe to protect them from my nephews who are problem that guns will not go well with....

truth be told a gun is not the problem it is the attitude towards the guns....why are they there....? what use do they have?
I used to hunt....I had my run in with carrying a gun one time and it scared me plus it was a black powder revolver....which I later sold...
I have sold most of the guns I inherited from my dad who we took guns away from....he got alzheimers and we did not want him having access...

I guess thing is your wife controls when you can get to them.....and she is still scared....let it be....she will realize that she is in control and even if you do not like that I think it is ok but how can you protect your home and family if she will not open safe for you....

I guess the guns are not really needed or you would not have allowed them to be kept from yourself...

and my guns are not in my safe right now.....they are in the pawn shop...in their safe....LOL

It's because statistics show guns make people less safe in their own homes. The gun industry profits off of your fear. There are ways to keep safe that dont involve guns like living in low crime areas, owning a security system, taking self defense etc.

Well if they’re still locked up in the house by the end of my reply, you’ve stood up to your own guns!

I do not think your wife is trying to be controlling it is the fact that she is scared. Maybe she is scared of the fact of what the guns were going to be used for. Perhaps she is worried that one of these days you might ask her for the keys to the gun safe and use a weapon to harm yourself. Although you may not the fear is there.

I've had one gun since 1998 because some of my neighborhoods haven't been the best. The gun has always been locked in safe and the bullets in another room locked in another box. Over 25 years later I have not had to use it and have got the gun out of the safe rarely to clean it. I have suffered with ideation over the years. So now I do an annual walk with afsp.org.

By the way, does anyone know when gun ammunition expires???

Back to my point: do what you must to keep your peace. Amen

Thank you all for the thoughtful replies.

What about writing a contract with her that you will not commit suicide and that if you become depressed you will seek medical attention for it.... Sign it together perhaps?

It isn’t the guns that are the issue, it’s the people who have them. There are an untold number of people who own them, for various and multiple purposes. There are also people who use common sense when it comes to guns too. I think that’s the problem in your household right now, fear is over riding common sense. Your reason for wanting them back is totally valid but your wife doesn’t trust you and is letting fear rule. You aren’t the only one in that house with a problem. With the rise of crime from illegals and the govt. doing nothing to stem the flow, well... as I said, your wanting your guns back is valid. One day you may have to protect you and the wife from a home invasion. It isn’t like it isn’t happening right now. Use common sense to decide, not fear..

I am not anti-gun but let's try to address what fears the wife has. She has some serious trauma or fear around perhaps you using the guns to end your life. Keep reassuring her that you will not end your life. Do not argue with her, just address her fears. If you don't know her fears, softly, kindly say "tell me what your fears are" and then listen without negating anything she says. Let her say her fears, don't interrupt or say "yes, but..." - listen only.

The thing is, your wife said she doesn't want the guns in your house. And right now, should something bad happen, say bad guys break into your house, she has the key and you have no access to the gun safe. So this is almost silly. But you brought in the gun safe and the guns and she feels negated. You did not listen to her, she had no say, you did it anyway. That is what she is also feeling. You did it anyway and she did not agree or say yes. Makes a partner feel negated and not a true partner. Makes her feel like she doesn't matter.

Listen, I live in a crime filled area of a big city with not enough police and a bad city government. I get it. But you can't access your guns right now anyway so this was kind of a dumb idea. Unless you feel you will just break her down someday and keep demanding your way? This was not a true partnership decision. You just did what you wanted over her no. That is the real problem.

Someone broke a window of a friend, reached in and stole her purse. She called the police and talked about getting a gun.
They encouraged her to think about getting a dog and she did.
Just a thought

I used to own a glock and had a concealed carry permit. It made me more nervous than ever, just could not stop the anxiety. My emotional state really fluctuates, so it's good I don't have them anymore. I didn't want the raised risk of something happening becuase I'm not the only person with a key to the house. I feel so much better now that they are gone. I know things are crap right now but it may not be worth it. I did install a security system which I like and use. IDK, eveyone's comfort level is different, but it made me a nervous wreck, even packing in my car. But you do bring up some valid points. For me, I'm not skilled enough and would have to practice if I were going to pack/carry again.

The fact that she has the keys and they are basically useless to you in a moment of urgency makes me think it is more that she is anti gun . I can understand how I would feel that it was more of a control thing and punishment for having a different belief, but I don't think it is that.

The way things are now, I am definitely pro gun as we definitely need to protect ourselves as this govt becomes more invasive, but I never actually did follow through and purchase or learn to fire a weapon, Also about 2 months ago I had a nightmare that I was in a dangerous situation in my own home, but the criminals got ahold of my weapon and used it on me. So I guess I'm no help.