Hugs Sweetheart. I care. I really do. I feel your pain too because I've been where you are. I'm so very sorry you feel this way. It's horrible. I do care though. You're not alone here. A lot of people have had hard times with depression like we do. Perhaps find a good movie to watch or book to read would help a bit? I'll keep you in my prayers. God bless.

Hi Anna, I can relate to how you feel. I have PTSD. My depression can be debilitating at times along with the rest of my issues. Just know that you are not alone. There are a lot of supportive folks here. Do you have a therapist? Sometimes they can be extremely helpful. Find something that you enjoy doing to keep your mind occupied. I hope you can find peace. Post as often as you need to.

thank you both so much for understanding. that's what I need and it means everything. I find the people on here much kinder and gentler than the people in my "real" life. I will stay in touch here and yes, I will text my counsellor tonight and try to set up a virtual appointment. thank you for encouraging me to do that. I have been putting it off because I am so tired but I think it's a good idea. bless you for your kindness.

Hi Anna,
I’m so sorry you are having a rough time. While reading your post, it reminds me of my sister. She was diagnosed with anxiety a year ago, she used to be a happy person but after that diagnosis, her face looked so sad and sometimes I would see her crying alone. It breaks my heart to see my sister going through that loneliness. She refused counselling and medication so all we can do for her is to support her.

We are a thousand miles away so I talk to her through chat everyday. We talk about anything. I pray with her and encourage her. My other sisters talk to her and comfort her as well. It’s been a year and I can say that her mood is improving. She slowly got back to her old self.

If you have someone you can trust, try to talk to that person about your situation. It will be a big help or feel free to post here. It will help you to feel less lonely. Praying for you for peace and you will get through this difficult time. Please keep us posted. God bless.

I think you should stay positive will is really effective, You have to stay positive. Meditation will help you to overcome you from every difficult situation you have to be ready in life with a positive attitude.

Anna1212,

Your post has me in tears. ;-(
It is so relatable...the pain is palpable. (((HUGS)))

***Request*** Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)- short-term, goal oriented psychotherapy treatment that takes a hands-on, practical approach to problem-solving. Its goal is to change patterns of thinking or behavior that are behind people's difficulties, and so change the way they feel.

Traditional type of therapy: personally, I get tired of talking about my childhood traumas and absent parents. I want and need tools to assist me to move on and become happier and healthier in the "now." Traditional therapy seems to produce no progress and no end in sight. At least that has been my experience. It feels like I am opening an old wound at each appointment... and it takes me a few days to bounce back after the appointment. And then I go again.......the cycle never ends,

Give CBT a try!!!

(((Big Hugs)))

My heart aches reading your post. I remember a time where I felt like I was lost in a pit of despair. You want to go somewhere, do something, have an idea of what you need but at the same time you have no clue what to do or where to start. During those times, I found comfort in prayer. It wasn't an instant fix for me. Several nights I still cried myself to sleep but choose to take this leap of faith that even though I don't have someone physically there to love and care for me, I could to talk to this God that I was told who did love me and would listen to me. Sure some people may think it's a bit wacko to believe in something you can't see, but when I was in a pit, I was willing to take whatever light I can find. I hope you find the strength to get through this tough season, my friend.

Thank you all for the understanding and words of wisdom. I'll talk to my therapist about CBT although I doubt she knows much about it. She's not very up on things. Haven't been able to find anyone better. And, yes, talking to God is a good idea too. I am not religious but I have done that off and on sometimes, too. I also agree about staying positive. That's really hard but it's kind of just a shift in thinking. Basically instead of thinking everything is hopeless, thinking of small good things and new possibilities for the future. I will try those things but I am still very down. I have some major life stressors going on, problems with work, money, my health and not being able to even see my doctor in person for a month or more, family stuff, etc. so it's just hard I called in sick today. i'm exhausted and just don't feel well enough to work and one of my supervisors just contacted me with questions so I may be in for some kind of harassment and discipline or possibly firing. I don't want to think about it. I need to rest today so I can go to work tomorrow. I've been debating retiring very soon also. it's bad financially but I just don't think I can handle my job anymore. I probably will do it and then pay for it later. thank you all for listening to me. thanks for understanding that kind of pain that I feel because part of it is that you feel so alone and your comments helped me feel less alone and gave me some hope. very kind of you. thank you.

Anna1212,

Try not to make an abrupt decisions regarding your life or work while you're in a crisis. Our decision making process is impaired.
JohnnyShades recommended a Youtube channel called: "Therapy in a Nutshell". The video called : "How to stop Catastrophizing" really resonated with me.

Some employers are understanding if you have a health condition. I've taken a leave of absence from work for depression and stress in the past under FMLA. My doctor pulled me out of work during a really difficult time. Only you know what's right for you...but it may be better than just quitting.

(((HUGS)))

Dear Sweet Anna
The fact is .... YOU ARE ENOUGH! YOU ARE LOVED! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND IMPORTANT! Feelings are not facts. It's ok to feel these things we all experience them from time to time and unfortunately some more than others. But YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Keep showing up everyday and be kind to yourself when you get in this place. I'm proud of you for finding this resource to share your thoughts and emotions. Thats so important to find people who will show up and hold space for you to just listen without judgement. I wonder if you have a dog? Crazy as it seems but when we are in a global pandemic lockdown we are all needing physical touch. Dogs are the best substitute to give emotional support. They love us unconditionally. I will be praying for you sweet Anna. I believe in you!