Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Very Depressed. Time to make decision I think.

Anna1212
Anna1212

If I can pull myself together enough today I think I am going to fill out my retirement application and get it in asap.  I am so depressed and not well that I am basically not able to work.  At least not consistently.  I was planning to try to hang on a few more months because i desperatley need the money but I don't think I should.  There comes a point and i think i am there.  I feel really sad about reitring early because it will be financially devastating and about a lot of other things.  I just don't have anymore fight left in me.  I just don't.  In fact, I'm crashing pretty fast and I want to leave work before I get fired.  I'm really depressed today.  I'm having trouble moving my body around.  Work has been a life line.  cutting it feels bad.  but if i can't go i can't go.  i've been there over 30 years.  but i still have a lot of debt.  i wanted to pay off.  if i leave i don't see myself getting another job.  i think i need to do this and then figure the rest out later.  also i feel sad about leaving.  i love some things about my job, working outside, making decent money, ...  i feel so sad.  has anyone else had these kinds of issues with work or retirement?  I don't think reitirement will go to well for me either. not only being very poor but soicially isolated.  i think if i do it the first thing i will do is try to force myself to get out every morning for a walk.  i'm not sure i can do that but that's something that seems like a good idea.  i feel really bad.  i don't think i am going to survive much longer.  i'm weak and in pain and ill and alone.  i don't think i can hang on much longer.

VegasGuy
VegasGuy
Anna, NEVER, NEVER, make life changing decisions when you're depressed. At those times a person can't really trust themselves. You could make life far worse for yourself as it's so easy to do. Also, think hard about what you would do if you did retire. Would you sit alone at home all day? Would you have any interaction with others? How would this affect your loneliness that you've mentioned before? Take some time and evaluate this decision over the course of a couple weeks. Judge how you feel when you're depressed vs how you feel on your better days. I hope you can sort this out and feel better. Just keep in mind that some solutions might seem right at the time, but can often make life even more miserable for you.
Anna1212
Anna1212
that's good advice, to not make major decisions when depressed. It's hard though becuase i am almost always depressed. but i know what you mean. i'm going to try to fill out the application and then at least it will be ready if I do decide to leave. it's a long application. thank you again for excellent advice.
Osheana
Osheana
Please know that no one or no thing is Perfect, but yet perfectly made.
Please try to take time for your self to meditate and bring yourself into natures balance. For me being barefoot on the soil achieves this- for it gently peels off any layers from without and within that need to be stripped from our subconscious mind. So yes with clinical depression -it can be that you have a chemical imbalance and if diagnosed - their are several remedies of choice. Please try to observe your thoughts and practice the art of Observing your thoughts and allowing thoughts to enter and pausing to choose whether you would like to act on it or not. Strategic mental discipline is one of the hardest things to attain but with determination it can be mastered.

https://www.dailystrength.org/group/champions-of-christ-church/discussion/moutaintops
KimmyO
KimmyO
Well, you are at a point in your life where you are able to choose. You only have freedom to say yes if you also have freedom to say no. So, decide which you want, to stay at work or retire, either way, you are in control of it and I'm sure there is peace and happiness in that. One thing I would say is when you retire, stay busy with doing the things you always wanted to but didn't have the time. Take lessons, go for walks, get a pet, volunteer-this is a biggie to help with depression, since volunteering takes your mind off your problems and fulfills your need to be needed and to help others in worse situations. Make the choice that gives you peace and be happy about it, recognizing you can trust yourself to be wise and make the one that is right for you. Enjoy life, either way, soak in the small joys and look for things beyond yourself and you will be fulfilled. Blessings to you either way! =)
Pug
Pug
I thought it might be worth mentioning, have you considered Temporary leave?

The difficult thing about going through a depressive episode is that your mind can put situations in black and white i.e. either leaving or staying at your workplace. But life is more of a grey area.

It sounds like on your good days you enjoy going to work and it provides you a good distraction.

Could you talk to the HR department within your workplace and see if there are any other options?

It may be that leaving is the best thing for you but its always good to look at the whole picture first to fully make sure that that is really what you want to do.

I hope you find what is right for you :) best wishes

p.s. I had initially written more but dailystrength bugged out and deleted it so I apologise if this seems short and abrupt