Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I became eligible to retire in last couple of month after working 30 years at a physically hard and mentally stressful job. Although I like the work, I have some really crappy supervisors and a few very bad co-workers. Also the workload has increased. I am 56 years old and all of this is really starting to take a toll. I dread going to work in the morning and have been missing a lot of work lately due to physical and mental issues. Oh, also, the safety rules for Covid are not being followed there.
I need to decide whether or not to retire. This is an agonizing decision for me. on the one hand, of course it would be nice to get out of there and rest up and all that but the down side it I won't have a job and I still need the money, i don't see myself working anywhere else. I'm really anti social, do not have college degree and really don't feel like working anymore at this point. Also, this job, despite all it's downside is not only a good paycheck but is pretty much my whole life, my whole social interaction, etc.
But the main conflict is physically and mentally not feeling up to doing it anymore vs. not having enough money to live on past a couple of years. I never bought a home and I have no savings other than my 401 K which won't last more than a few years at the rate I'll have to use it. Also, I have about 29,000 dollars of debt. : (
At times I feel sure I want to leave and at other times I feel like I need to stay. Two very very strong pulls going on. Causing me extreme anxiety and depression.
My gut says I should just get out of there but I'm an adult and I know what the repercussion will be. arrgghhh
I have an appointment with my doctor today. Am going to discuss it with him if he is willing to, at least to see what he has to say about the medical part.
I never expect it to be this way. I think I should just go but when I think of filling out the retirement application, mailing it in and notifying my supervisor, cleaning out my desk, etc. etc. my guts get all twisted up and I get so scared and upset I want to cry or worse yet, start cutting myself to relieve the stress.
Any ideas or advice would be welcome. Also, I am on my own. I have no other source of income except what I can generate for myself. I've looked around a little for other job possibilities and the prospects are slim to none especially with the pandemic and I'm an woman in her 50's with no particular skills. Thank you guys.
Your job seems to be a male-dominated industry, so there is bound to be gender based inequalities. You are a nice lady Anna, but from your writing, you've seemed to be afraid of your co-workers and unable to voice your objections to their belittlement. Raise your voice and express your disagreement. Bullies only succeed if you retreat. Stand your grounds. You have equal rights as your male colleagues. Join a womens' worker organisation and see if they can offer you some good advice about dealing with your male colleagues.
As for the remainder of your working life, your company will force you to retire if they feel you are not physically suitable for the job. Whilst you still have months/years left, enrol in online courses so that once you graduate, you still have something to fall upon. You've mentioned before that you like English, then finish your degree and get a job such as a writer, English teacher, blog writer etc... You are only 56 years old. In my state, you can work as long as you can, up to 70 years old if you want to. So plan your future. All of these negative thoughts will make you fall into that abyss called depression, and never come out. Be brave and fight for your future.
You sound really unhappy and in a really difficult position but retiring without financial stability might just give you a different set of problems. If i were you i would look for something else, you cant lose anything by applying.
I am nearly 58 but I cannot see myself retiring until i am 65. I am also in a stressful job but it pays well so i comfort myself with that fact and just try to make that best of it. My thinking is that every month i am there another payment is paid to my pension. However my job is not physically demanding so i totally get that this will be affecting you.
We are not all sociable, i tend to like my own company too. Its not a crime but i get what you say about the social aspect of work.
I am now working from home but kind of like that. Some colleagues can be difficult I agree.
You have a lot on your plate, and it must be so difficult. Based on what you say though i fear that retiring might just make your situation worse ? You could have another 50 years to live ?
You do sound exhausted though , are you able to take a holiday from work ?
Maybe start looking for a less physically challenging job ? You have a lot to offer - keep telling yourself that.
I don't know how much money you need to live, but I just applied to Total Wine & More. They pay $12/hr. straight time + $18/hr. time-and-a-half overtime to start if you're full-time, which is typically 50 hours per week, and the store seems like a nice, quiet, low-stress place to work.
I am drowning currently in red tape trying to go back to work because our silly occupational clinic refuses to allow me back because of how the doctor's note is worded.
Are there skills that you can train up? Can you look for another job while staying at your current job? My medical here looks great on paper, but considering the doctor's I'm forced to work with.....just it's horrible.
Just wanted you to know that you're not alone in how you feel.
Man, that is a lot of good advice, isn't it? After reading all the comments even I don't know what you should do. So let's try problem solving together.
Let's start by identifying your top 5 values or principals. This may clarify what is most important to you. For example if your top value is health, the choice should be easy. If your top value is financial security, that choice should be easy, also. Next, explore every option you have. Many have already been explored above. Now, look at every possible consequence, both good and bad from every option. Be objective. You will be biased when you make your final decisiion.
Once you complete this exercise, you can now weight the consequences with what is important (values) to you. Oh, and this is the hard part, If you still are having a hard time comparing the potential consequences from your options to be consistent with your values, you can always change your values. The consequences probably won't change much.
Good luck and share how it goes.