So I don't have as much time I would like to come here and post and reply, and try to help people.  My job is really demanding right now,  that's not necessarily a bad thing,  sometimes I do good in that sort of environment.  I was really depressed to the point that I was just completely zoned out all day yesterday and day before.  My dad got sick again this past weekend with pnuemonia and had to be placed in ICU for a day or 2, and is now in regular room in the hospital, on his way to recovery.  

The way have tried to help myself so far, was when I went home yesterday, I did a little extra self care, with my skin, I packed my gym bag and got up the this morning,  listened to some motivational talks on you tube, and went to the gym before coming to work.  so today I am TRYING to focus, and TRYING to get things done, which is much better than the past few days.  I hope I can continue to TRY,  you know, cause the harder I TRY, the better I will perform.  I wish you all luck in trying to get out of this mess we live in, and hope you can find a light,  if the light is just that you are trying today.  It helps me to have a place like this to come too when I need it.