So I am going to give a little back story as to how I ended up here.. The past year I have been struggling to get my asthma under control. My doctor told me its "just anxiety" and she finds it hard to believe that I am really having asthma attacks and they are just panic attacks. SHe also would not refer me to anyone to get a second opinion and I felt trapped. I was in and out of the hospital at least once a month sometimes even more. I hit a breaking point when my fiance had to call me an ambulance because I was hisyerically crying because I couldnt breath and I was unable to take my inhaler. Everytime I would go to the er for my "panic" attacks they would always reassure me that it was in fact asthma and not anxietty. It was just making me crazy knowing there was something going on with my health and I dont have anxiety! I finally switched doctors and she sent me to a specialist and FINALLY took care of my asthma! I have not returned to the hospital for asthma since I switched doctors. Well after I finally got that undercontrol I was diagnosed with the flu and because of having asthma my doctor wanted to watch me closely and make sure it wasnt going to turn into pnemonia. I was given tamiflu and sent home. A few days on that I still wasnt feeling good so I made a trip to an urgent care place becausemy cough was getting horrible and my asthma was flaring up again. I was given steroids and cough meds and sent home. After no relief from that I went back to urgent care with a new symptom of coughing up blood. That doctor told me the flu turned into bronchitis and sent me home with antibiotics. The next day I felt the sickest Ive ever felt in my life. I ended up in the er and they gave me IV antibiotics and tons of fluids. They sent me home and told me follow up with my doctor. I did what they said and I went to my doc who said she was gonna send me for a CT of my chest to  rule out blood clots in my lungs because all my symptoms led to that but at 20 and having no risk factors it was highly unlikely it was a pulmonary embolism. Well I went and got the test done and my lungs lit up like a christmas tree! I had multiple blood clots lodged in my left lung. I was rushed to the hospital where I was given a blood thinner and was told I was very lucky to be alive. If I would have been misdiagnosed again and sent home I wouldnt be here typing this. The blood thinner that I take I have restrictions on what I can do. I cant drink, or do anything risky that could cause a fall or cause internal bleeding. I have gone for MANYYYYYY tests to try and figure out what caused the blood clots and nothing has shown. I have a team of doctors now and also have a laundry list of problems wrong with me. I tought I was a healthy 20 year old until my diagnosis, now everytime I go to the doctors they find something else wrong. I am told I will be on blood thinners for the rest of my life and I have accepted that, however the meds that i am on are giving me some horrible side effects and my doctors wont switch me off the meds. I feel like an 80 year old women and I struggle with walking around stores because of the shortness of breath due to the clots. Now to why I am here.. I am really depressed because I cant do the things I want to do. I wont be able to enjoy my 21st birthday, I cant do anything that can cause injury, I am really struggling with holding my fiance back. We have been together for 6 years and I now cant do the things that he wants. I am so sick od being sick. I have good and bad days but I have been sick for a year and a half  now and I am so sick of it. I would not want to wish this on anyone. I just want to feel better. I feel like I am being heald back from living. I am very grateful that I am alive but why did god choose me? I am so fed up with this and I am ready to give up! I think I am depressed and don't know what to do from here.